If you are a manager or leader, you will be pressed to problems other people have with each other by suggesting or implementing solutions of your own. So work is fertile ground for you to learn how to resist the temptation some of the time. Practice helping them fix problems themselves. You’ll get credit for helping them develop and mature as employees. You’ll stop being overwhelmed by the constant stream of help everyone needs and find more career-advancing ways to spend your day. And you’ll be taller. I learned how to do this after taking my first mediation course years…
Conflict Resolution
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Most Topular Stories
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A better way to fix problems at work
Tammy Lenski Conflict Resolution16 May 2012 | 12:22 pm -
How do you listen attentively? Well, first you grab a paint brush, a pencil, or a piece of chalk
Brains On Purpose™10 May 2012 | 9:38 amBeing able to draw well can be somewhat like attentive and complete listening. For many people, learning a certain kind of drawing helps them to be better listeners. A receptive state that enables this kind of drawing, once learned, can be transferred to listening. Good news: (Almost) anyone can master this state. Today I will recommend two books to help... -
Write from the heart and find your voice
Connection Revolution15 May 2012 | 9:00 amAli Luke is on a virtual book tour for her novel, Lycopolis, and she wants to talk to you about the importance of writing what you love in your own voice. Important stuff! Do you feel like you haven’t quite found your writing voice? There are plenty of technically good writers whose words seem to fall a little flat – and plenty of writers whose grammar and spelling isn’t quite top-notch, but whose words grip the reader all the same. Voice is that hard-to-pin-down quality that makes your writing come alive. It’s not something you can impose on your writing (though you can practice… -
A Pin or an Updraft?
conflict-resolution « WordPress.com Tag Feed15 May 2012 | 11:21 amThe bubble burst. The balloon deflated. What do you do? Get back up, brush yourself off, and get on with life? You may be good at that. You may have found yourself in that position time and time and time again. But… What do you do when you look down and find you’re holding the pin? Now that’s a different story. Have you ever caused another’s pain? There may have been times you lashed out intentionally or inadvertently hurt someone you love. Either way, pain is pain, offense is offense. Where do you go from here? May I suggest… You don’t try to justify your… -
Data-driven peacebuilding and ICTs
ICT for Peacebuilding (ICT4Peace)9 May 2012 | 8:11 pmGoogle recently invited me to write up 500 words for their Policy by the Numbers blog on big data and peacebuilding, taking points and examples from a much longer paper I wrote recently (A brief exploration of Open and Big Data: From investigative journalism to humanitarian aid and peacebuilding). My submission is now live on Google’s blog. As I note after a very limited snapshot of some data driven examples of peacebuilding, All of these early examples hint at data’s potential to meaningfully impact the domain of peacebuilding and peacekeeping, but we cannot simply assume that…
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Tammy Lenski Conflict Resolution
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A better way to fix problems at work
16 May 2012 | 12:22 pmIf you are a manager or leader, you will be pressed to problems other people have with each other by suggesting or implementing solutions of your own. So work is fertile ground for you to learn how to resist the temptation some of the time. Practice helping them fix problems themselves. You’ll get credit for helping them develop and mature as employees. You’ll stop being overwhelmed by the constant stream of help everyone needs and find more career-advancing ways to spend your day. And you’ll be taller. I learned how to do this after taking my first mediation course years… -
The agile conflict resolver: Going beyond the toolbox
8 May 2012 | 11:31 amMissyI attended a day-long canine agility seminar recently with one of my dogs. I’ve been running agility with my dogs for a couple of years and occasionally compete in trials. As I prepared to run a course the instructor had set up, I stood on the start line with my dog and mentally checked off the things I wanted to attend to as we ran: Draw the line. Remember to push out hard at that corner so she takes the outside obstacle. Keep the talking to a minimum. And for goodness sake, Tammy, try to remember to rock backward slightly if you see her heading for the dogwalk instead of the… -
Getting interpersonal conflict unstuck at ACR
2 May 2012 | 4:00 amAre you attending the Association for Conflict Resolution’s national convention in September? If you are, I hope you’ll consider attending a pre-conference workshop I’ve been invited to teach and help spread the word about it. I’ll be unveiling, for the first time in depth, a simplified conflict resolution process I’ve developed over the last decade and have been using successfully with mediation, coaching, and consulting clients for several years. Participants will learn the basics of the process and how to use it with their own conflict resolution clients. Here… -
Putting out fires
27 Apr 2012 | 8:39 amI was asked recently how long I’ve been “putting out fires.” For quite a while, it turns out. When I was little I became an official Junior Forest Ranger, one of hundreds of thousands of children recruited by Smokey the Bear. (I know, I know, his correct name is Smokey Bear but I grew up when it was popular to add “the” and taking it back out of his name just makes it sound wrong to me.) My little Golden children’s book had a drawing of tiny Smokey clinging to a charred tree, his feet burned, his mother missing and never to be found. My heart was heavy with… -
Take it outside: Talk it out and walk it out
19 Apr 2012 | 11:01 amI stepped onto the sidewalk with my two mediation clients. It was a beautiful, sunny day in Boston, about 70 degrees, with a very light breeze. It felt great to be outdoors. They thought so, too. I pointed down the block. “Let’s head in the general direction of Chinatown,” I said as we began to walk. Then I added, with a devilish tone, “And there’s no turning around until something in the conflict really shifts for the two of you.” They eyed me. “Do you mean that?” one asked. I shrugged. “Maybe so. Better get to work!” Off we went.
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Brains On Purpose™
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How do you listen attentively? Well, first you grab a paint brush, a pencil, or a piece of chalk
10 May 2012 | 9:38 amBeing able to draw well can be somewhat like attentive and complete listening. For many people, learning a certain kind of drawing helps them to be better listeners. A receptive state that enables this kind of drawing, once learned, can be transferred to listening. Good news: (Almost) anyone can master this state. Today I will recommend two books to help... -
Is physical pain the same as social pain? Maybe for poets
9 May 2012 | 9:08 pmI've been reading Psychology's Ghosts: The Crisis in the Profession and the Way Back and have recommended it to others several times. Reading the first chapter can help one become a much more critical reader of research. Jerome Kagan, the author, points out that behaviors and biological responses are influenced by properties of the brain, an individual's prior experience, and... -
Become a Quick Draw: Let images guide you to new understanding
7 May 2012 | 1:06 pmIn every program I present, I advocate the use of images in addition to words to facilitate communication. Last weekend at the 19th Annual Nothwest Dispute Resolution Conference, that advocacy was taken to whole new level because I was fortunate to have Nancy White graphically record my presentation. Take a look at her masterpiece above (click to enlarge). It is... -
Dopamine related to motivation?
3 May 2012 | 2:28 pmAfter reading books such as Psychology's Ghosts: The Crisis in the Profession and the Way Back, I am even more likely to see most research studies as, at best, clues, and clues only only in the material world. That's how I view this study written about below, but I post the news release here because I can never be reminded... -
Neuroscience and social conflict: A new interdisciplinary initiative
3 May 2012 | 10:21 amThe first meeting of the Project on Justice in Times of Transition occurred earlier this year. Matt Armstrong, one of the attendees, blogged about it at his Mountain Runner. Excerpt: What if you put neuroscientists, social scientists, conflict resolution experts, and diplomats together in a room? Is there something to the “human dimension” of conflict that the science of the...
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Connection Revolution
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Write from the heart and find your voice
15 May 2012 | 9:00 amAli Luke is on a virtual book tour for her novel, Lycopolis, and she wants to talk to you about the importance of writing what you love in your own voice. Important stuff! Do you feel like you haven’t quite found your writing voice? There are plenty of technically good writers whose words seem to fall a little flat – and plenty of writers whose grammar and spelling isn’t quite top-notch, but whose words grip the reader all the same. Voice is that hard-to-pin-down quality that makes your writing come alive. It’s not something you can impose on your writing (though you can practice… -
Registration for the 3rd Annual World-Changing Writing Workshop is open!
10 May 2012 | 8:00 amToday’s the day! The World-Changing Writing Workshop is open for registration, and woo are we excited! This is our third year – we started back in 2010 with a grand idea and a whole lot of hopes, and we’ve helped hundreds of writers each year get their words out of their hearts and into the world. It’s a leveling up of your writing! This year, we’ve got our biggest, star-studded-est cast of guest speakers ever to come on board, teaching you about the 6 Steps of World-Changing Writing. Step One: Write – taught by Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s… -
Why is “falling in friend” hazardous to your heart?
3 May 2012 | 9:00 amI’ve been playing the Sims 3 again, in the evenings, to clear my head and chill me out enough to sleep. (Yes, I play a life-sim to relax. I’m weird. Known issue.) I’m also reading “Finding Your Way in a Wild New World” by Martha Beck. Turns out, these two things are related. Curious? Watch the video! (6:20) It’s all about being in a vast and rapidly expanding tribe, how that affects us, and how lonely it gets out here on the edge — and why we make poor friendship decisions because of it all. And, of course, what to do about it. I would love to hear… -
Are you feeling stuck with no way out?
26 Apr 2012 | 9:00 amIt has come to my attention that many people don’t actually know how I ended up with a disability. Not to mention how I’m doing with accepting said disability. So, in my new grand tradition, in as much as a tradition can be new, I made you a video (07:24)! Click here to watch it! (07:24) What have you been struggling with lately? How can you find acceptance? And let me know how I can help. -
How do you find creative joy?
19 Apr 2012 | 9:00 amThree lovely ladies – Susannah Conway, Marianne Elliott, and Jen Louden – have put together an incredible project called The Creative Joy Retreat, a dreamy five-day intensive where you get in touch with your deep passion for everything you create. It’s all about connecting with yourself and your art, so you know I love it! To really love and honour the joy in our creation is not only ridiculously important for our connection to our own creation, but it’s also world-changing. When we’re connected to our own joy, we’re more joyful, and others get infected with…
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conflict-resolution « WordPress.com Tag Feed
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A Pin or an Updraft?
15 May 2012 | 11:21 amThe bubble burst. The balloon deflated. What do you do? Get back up, brush yourself off, and get on with life? You may be good at that. You may have found yourself in that position time and time and time again. But… What do you do when you look down and find you’re holding the pin? Now that’s a different story. Have you ever caused another’s pain? There may have been times you lashed out intentionally or inadvertently hurt someone you love. Either way, pain is pain, offense is offense. Where do you go from here? May I suggest… You don’t try to justify your… -
Update: Topics
14 May 2012 | 2:04 pmThese are narrative stories that I want to cover in order to illustrate broader concepts, like the consensus process, production, and accountability. Problematic members: conflict resolution, damage control, OpEth Chp. 22 Portland leadership conference New advisor search Leading leadership training Passive aggression and guilt tripping Production model (do it. I didn’t.) Confrontation Group convo I had in Germany Info gathering: how it was challenging, how it was rewarding Why I took French so much (cuz it’s fun) Israel Character Studies: peer editing and how to think critically… -
Pleasures, Desires, Resolving Deep Conflicts and Getting Help
14 May 2012 | 12:59 pmHello Everybody Welcome to the latest edition of “Conversations with G – The Irreverent and Reluctant Sage” recorded on April 26, 2012. “Perfection is a bad idea” – G I think last week we solved all the world’s problems on Conversations with G. Right now there is so much fighting, discord, and it seems that no matter what the issue is: politics, religion, sports there is constant disagreement and a polarization. How will we ever get anything done, make any kind of conscious progress when “I am right and you are wrong” seems to prevail. -
Signs of An Unhealthy Relationship
14 May 2012 | 8:56 amYou can label a relationship as unhealthy when it involves disrespectful, controlling or abusive behavior. If you and your partner fight a lot or abuse each other verbally, emotionally or physically, it is not considered as normal behavior; neither for the couple nor for the kids, if they have any. A lot of people must have grown up watching their parents shout at each other every day. Kids who grow up in domestically violent surroundings fail to learn how to treat others nicely and what kind of treatment they should ideally be expecting from others. They tend to start accepting this kind of… -
You need assistance in clearing conflicts and improving dialogue?
13 May 2012 | 1:02 pmWelcome to Helle Døssing: Mediation and International Consulting! Conflicts that are not addressed are costly to the individual, the group and to society. At the same time conflicts offer an opportunity for change. I can assist you in addressing a conflictual situation in a cost efficient manner. As a Mediator and an experienced development professional with many years of experience from international organisations in Germany, Denmark, The United States of America and several countries in Sub-Saharan Africa, I am commited to promoting peace, collaboration and sustainable development. I…
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ICT for Peacebuilding (ICT4Peace)
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Data-driven peacebuilding and ICTs
9 May 2012 | 8:11 pmGoogle recently invited me to write up 500 words for their Policy by the Numbers blog on big data and peacebuilding, taking points and examples from a much longer paper I wrote recently (A brief exploration of Open and Big Data: From investigative journalism to humanitarian aid and peacebuilding). My submission is now live on Google’s blog. As I note after a very limited snapshot of some data driven examples of peacebuilding, All of these early examples hint at data’s potential to meaningfully impact the domain of peacebuilding and peacekeeping, but we cannot simply assume that… -
Not In Our Name initiative in Sri Lanka: TV trailer
4 May 2012 | 9:35 amYoung Asia Television kindly produced this 15 second TV spot for the Not In Our Name initiative. Filed under: ICT for Peacebuilding, ICTs in general -
Not In Our Name initiative in Sri Lanka: TV interview
2 May 2012 | 10:34 pmYoung Asia Television recently asked me the following questions about the Not In our Name initiative for their weekly Connections TV digest. Not in Our Name: Is it focusing just only on the incident in Dambulla or is it looking broadly at religious extremism in Sri Lanka ? Judging from the responses so far , what do you feel is the general pulse on the role of the State in addressing religious extremism in Sri Lanka ? How will such incidents impact on communal relations and attempts at bringing about ‘National Reconciliation’? Im the end what purpose will this initiative serve? I recorded… -
Online security for journalists and activists
27 Apr 2012 | 3:34 amI was invited by the International Center for Journalists to give two lectures to a group of South Asian journalists on digital media strategies and online safety. The first I gave a couple of days ago, and today I gave a presentation on how they could navigate online security issues. As expected, the questions ranged from how secure Skype was to questions over email security and safety. I’ve often wondered how this region’s investigative journalists get away with such a poor knowledge of online security, both in the sense of how tools and platforms can aid their work, and also… -
Not In Our Name: Against religious extremism in Sri Lanka
26 Apr 2012 | 12:47 pmA week ago, a violent a mob of about 2,000 Sinhalese, including a group of Buddhist monks led by the Mahanayaka of the Rangiri Dambulu chapter Inamaluwe Sumangala thero, stormed and vandalised a mosque in Dambulla. The mosque was declared an illegal structure, but it is unclear how this far this is accurate. The shameful behaviour and expression employed by the Mahanayaka of the Rangiri Dambulu chapter Inamaluwe Sumangala thero, along with the monks he led and the crowd of thugs is not remotely associated with or reflective of the philosophy of the Dhamma, the teachings of the Buddha, or the…
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Nancy Love's Weblog
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Spring has sprung
14 May 2012 | 9:40 pmSpring has sprung … There is a silly little poem my dad would always recite in the spring that is running through my head… “The bird is on the wing I heard… but that’s absurd… the wing is on the bird”. That poem intrigued me and it was that kind of play on words that has always caught my interest. It is especially interesting when both phrases are right in their own way. I was writing something the other day at my new job with Parks Canada and my colleagues read the sentence with the word “work” as a verb and corrected my… -
Vision
3 May 2012 | 10:52 amMy word for the day is vision. Mine is still blurry. Louise Hay would say that there is something I don’t want to see. That is probably true. My eye seems to be recovering very slowly. There is still a significant amount of discomfort and pain so something about my future looks painful to me. Or something about my present is painful to look at. I guess that’s what I need figure out. Once I have my vision for my future clear, I know my vision will respond accordingly. Don’t you love inner work? -
Goal Setting
3 May 2012 | 10:40 amThe chances of getting what we want increase as we get clearer about what it is we want. That is the fundamental power behind goal setting. People are doing something in the only time that they have … the present. Is it the past or the future that fuels their present. It is one or the other but not both. If the past is the focus than change is the objective. If it is the future then it is transformation, fueled by invention and innovation they are seeking. Ignoring the differences between change and transformation can complicate achieving the goals we set for ourselves and the goals… -
Re-positioning PULSE
3 May 2012 | 10:40 amI had a great conversation this morning with Coleen. She and I are reinventing PULSE with a new business plan and a refreshed focus on on-line learning. Using PULSE as a business plan structure makes it really simple to address even very complex information. First we Prepare for the plan by restating the purpose, the process and the protocol. Then we Uncover the history of PULSE. We identify the thousands of clients we have had over the past 10 years and the hundreds of programs we have developed and delivered. We look at the philosophy, the mission, vision and purpose which have remained… -
Vulnerability
25 Apr 2012 | 1:17 pmI’m writing a short note about vulnerability today. Three weeks ago I received an eye injury at a spa. The doctor said that 80 % of my conrea was damaged. My eye is still patched. i can’t drive and only yesterday was told I could use the computer fora couple of hours a day. I have been at home usually flat on my back with my eyes closed while the healing takes place. I am vulnerable. I was vulnerable when I went to the spa and had only one inkling that things were not quite right between members of the staff. I remember thinking..” These peole could use some…
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NCDD Community News Blog
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New Crowdfunded Project in Eugene — Let’s Talk: Our New Economy
16 May 2012 | 10:05 amIn Eugene, Oregon, the Co-Intelligence Institute is engineering a community-focused process to increase local capacity for healthy, creative group dialogue. By combining trainings and workshops with a series of dialogues around a substantive issue — in this case, the economy — we plan to demonstrate the generative power of group process even as we stimulate conversations that strengthen the Eugene community. We’re calling the project “Let’s Talk: Our New Economy,” and we’re holding the opening events early next month. The people of Eugene are no… -
Global Lessons Exchange on E-Democracy’s Inclusive Social Media Evaluation Report
14 May 2012 | 7:05 amInterested in hearing the latest on E-Democracy‘s groundbreaking efforts to support online participation in lower income, highly diverse neighborhoods? NCDD is one of the co-sponsors of an online event E-Democracy is running on Wednesday (May 16) from 9:30 AM to 11:00 AM Central (10:30 Eastern). Register today if you’re interested in participating! Here are the details on Wednesday’s online event… Join us for an in-depth two-way exchange on the lessons from E-Democracy’s Inclusive Social Media effort to support online neighborhood participation in lower… -
Free copy of Democratizing Deliberation for all Book Club members!
9 May 2012 | 1:30 pmHere’s one more reason to sign up for NCDD’s first online book club… the Kettering Foundation wants to send a free copy of Democratizing Deliberation to all book club members! Sign up at www.ncdd.org/community/bookclub1-signup today if you haven’t already. Democratizing Deliberation: A Political Theory Anthology presents cutting-edge political theory on deliberative democracy. Edited by Derek Barker, Noelle McAfee, and David McIvor, the collection reframes deliberative democracy to be sensitive to the deep conflicts, multiple forms of communication, and… -
Final reminder about tomorrow’s NCDD confab call on the Group Works deck
9 May 2012 | 7:05 amI wanted to post a final reminder about tomorrow’s confab at 2pm Eastern / 11am Pacific on the new Group Works card deck. Be sure to register today (if you haven’t already) to get the call-in details. Our 90-minute “confab calls” (conference calls with simultaneous use of a collaborative google doc) are great opportunities for members of the NCDD community to connect with each other, hear about exciting projects in our field, and explore some of our field’s most pressing challenges. This should be a fun confab call, with NCDD members Tree Bressen and Sue… -
What makes an extraordinary workshop?
7 May 2012 | 1:15 pmWe’ll be putting a call out soon for workshop presenters for NCDD Seattle (October 12-14), and I’d love to get some NCDDers’ help thinking about what makes a great workshop. Your comments and ideas will help the conference team with the selection process, and will help session leaders start thinking about how best to frame and organize their workshops. Below are examples of just a few of the workshops we offered at the 2008 NCDD conference in Austin (our last national conference, since we hold them biennially and we ran 5 regional events in 2010 rather than a national…
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Notes from the World of Anger Management
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Incredible News for All Anderson & Anderson Certified Providers
15 May 2012 | 8:15 pmWe are excited to announce that we are embarking on an aggressive marketing campaign to benefit all of our Certified Anger Management Facilitators (CAMF). We are adding two new part-time staff to focus exclusively on marketing our providers, our services and our products. The two new staff is Bryan Anderson, our son and Leah Bowman who will be new to our office. Leah is a skater and Book Keeper formerly from Merced, California. Our first task is to remove all dead links from our Website (www.andersonservices.com ) including providers who no longer use our products. We are reducing the price… -
Factors To Consider In Choosing A Program for “disruptive physicians”.
11 May 2012 | 5:39 pmPosted on February 25, 2011 by George Anderson Physicians who are mandated to attend classes or coaching for “disruptive behavior” frequently perceive themselves to be under assault from their State Medical Boards, Credential Committees, Human Resource Managers, Hospital Administration or Physician Well-Being Committees. Rarely are they given appropriate information regarding the Pros and Cons of the three major programs that provide this intervention. Unfortunately, neither the American Medical Association nor most of the state medical boards nationwide appear to provide useful… -
Anderson & Anderson to offer its’ Anger Management Facilitator Certification in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
9 May 2012 | 1:19 pmGood morning Mr. Anderson! My name is Charles Leduc and I obtained my CAMF (Certified Anger Management Facilitator is a trademark of Anderson & Anderson) through your amazing program a year ago. Since then, I developed and implemented your program into the curriculum for Harvest House, a residential alcohol and drug rehabilitation program for men in Ottawa, On. The majority of their clients are mandated to attend this year-long residential treatment program as an alternative to incarceration. It’s a terrific program and the addition of your anger management program was exactly… -
Anger Management Is All The Craze And It Does Work
3 May 2012 | 4:05 pmAnderson & Anderson, APC has Anger Management Facilitator Certification trainings scheduled in Los Angeles, Merced, Oakland, San Diego and San Jose, CA. In addition, we also have trainings in Seattle, WA. And San Juan, PR. Maybe it’s the new Charlie Sheen Anger Management Sit Com or maybe the world has just recognized the need for civility, impulse control, empathy, compassion and a reduction in person directed aggression. For a list our all of our Seminars, visit our website at www.andersonservices.com or, to enroll, contact George Anderson at 310-207-3591. -
Testimonial For Ms. Yacine Bell, Trainer for Anderson & Anderson
1 May 2012 | 5:50 pmPosted on May 1, 2012 by George Anderson My name is Aaron Ferguson and I am a recent graduate of the Anderson & Anderson training program, it was inspirational. The depth of information for use in client situations was impressive. The training itself was a relaxed experience, our group was encouraging and supportive. Yacine Bell was our instructor and she is a truly amazing woman. Her ability to teach us the course curriculum was outstanding. Yacine also provided us with expert business advice on setting up our practice. George Anderson’s work books are everything I needed to…
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Welcome to Peacemakers Trust | Resources and news
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Omar Khadr: Canada in Breach of International Human Rights obligations, including Convention against Torture and Convention on the Rights of the Child
15 May 2012 | 9:27 pmOn May 21-22, 2012, the United Nations Committee against Torture will review Canada’s failure to comply with its obligations under the Convention against Torture to prevent, punish and remedy the torture and other cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment of Canadian Omar Khadr during his ongoing detention at Guantánamo prison. In a report to the Committee against Torture, Lawyers’ Rights Watch Canada (LRWC) and the International Civil Liberties Monitoring Group (CLMG) state that Canada was both a direct participant and indirectly complicit in the torture and other cruel, inhuman and… -
Man makes amends for stealing plants from park in 1958
14 May 2012 | 12:01 amNASHVILLE — No matter how much digging investigators did, the crime remained open until a thief turned himself in and returned the fruits of his theft. -
Omar Khadr: Still no closure to dark chapter in Canadian history
4 May 2012 | 6:44 pmRecently, two major events received attention in the mainstream media. Both events left their marks on Canada’s human rights reputation. Canada’s actions (or inactions) and positions with respect to these two matters will undoubtedly be judged by the history books. The first event is the possible return of Omar Khadr to Canada. After spending more than eight years in Guantanamo, and after he has suffered torture and psychological harassment since he was 15, Omar Khadr entered a ‘plea bargain’ in return for an eight-year sentence. Part of the deal was an implicit… -
Rodney King: ‘I had to learn to forgive’
3 May 2012 | 10:12 pmRodney King was savagely beaten by four Los Angeles police officers, an attack that led to a week-long race riot in 1992. Twenty years on, he talks about his part in American history. -
Peace, Justice Elude Rape Victims Of Bosnian War
3 May 2012 | 10:11 pmNearly two decades after the Bosnian War ended, thousands of Bosnian women who were victims of sexual violence are still seeking justice. Sarajevo, the Bosnian capital, commemorated the 20th anniversary of the start of the war this month with a young people’s choir performing John Lennon’s song “Give Peace a Chance.” Row after row of empty red chairs marked the more than 11,500 people who died during the siege of the capital. But there was no mention of the many thousands of women raped and tortured during the war. The fighting was triggered by Serbs — Bosnia’s…
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Negotiation Law Blog
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Succeeding at BigLaw for Young Women Lawyers
15 May 2012 | 11:02 pmNo, I’m not going to suggest that you blog. In 2006, I started blogging on negotiation for lawyers with the LexBlog Network which has grown and prospered during the six years I’ve had my lawyer-blog home there. Yesterday, the son of LexBlog founder Kevin O’Keefe, Colin O’Keefe, conducted an interview on my view of the state of women in the law. If someone had given me this advice when I graduated from law school in 1980, I have to admit that I probably wouldn’t have followed it. But that’s because I was always ambivalent about my legal practice. It was… -
What Women's Initiatives Need
15 May 2012 | 10:53 pmIt’s not at all surprising that most women’s initiatives at most AmLaw200 law firms have been dismal failures. They failed because they lack buy-in; are often unfunded; and, no one takes them seriously. The best use I’ve seen made of an unfunded women’s initiative in an AmLaw100 firm was the way the women used it. Instead of cross-referring business among specialty groups to the primarily male practice leaders, the firm’s women cross-referred to the women in the initiative. That subverts the established order of things which tends to favor men. People with power… -
Introducing: the First Annual National Girlfriends' Networking Day!
8 May 2012 | 11:01 pmI’m hosting an anti-cat-fight, support your sisters, sponsorship and mentorship campaign this week so I was pleased to see an announcement for the first annual (so optimistic!) National Girlfriends’ Networking Day. Here’s what I’ve learned in 30+ years in the legal market, 25 of them in litigation firms of all sizes and reputations and eight of them facilitating the resolution of litigated disputes. The women in your firm may mentor you (teach you the ropes) but not sponsor you (put their skin in your game). Or the women in your firm may do nothing for you. Or, worse,… -
The Necessity of Women-Only Networks
3 May 2012 | 7:33 pmThis is a guest post by financial advisor Stacey Gordon, Managing Principal of The Gordon Group, a financial and HR consulting firm. Stacey is the former President of the National Association of Women MBAs. I’m constantly asked the question, “why do women need to exclude men from their networks?” My answer is simple. We need is a place where we can nurture relationships in a way that feels comfortable, a venue where we make the rules, and a private space that empowers us. I dislike buzz words like “empowered” but when the shoe fits . . . In this case, it’s… -
Good Negotiators Know it's Never Just About Money
3 May 2012 | 7:16 pmI used to help attorneys, insurance adjusters, physicians and patients resolve medical malpractice cases. Most attorneys and mediators call these cases “pure money” disputes because they don’t believe the personal relationship between the doctor and his former patient has anything to do with the resolution of the lawsuit. It only took a few months mediating all types of litigated disputes – fights over intellectual property rights, unfair competition, collection, personal injury, professional malpractice and breaches of contract – to conclude that no dispute is…
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DIALOGIC Mediation Services
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French-language video clip of transformative mediation opening
14 May 2012 | 9:45 amHere’s a clip of the opening statement in French of a bilingual transformative mediator, John Peter Weldon. It’s a case of alleged harassment made by an elementary school student against the school principal. Judging from the ages of the participants, … Continue reading → -
When worlds collide, or seeing conflict as a crisis in human interaction
9 May 2012 | 3:47 pmThe starting point for the transformative model of mediation is an understanding of the nature of conflict as a crisis in human interaction. In this view, the crisis is characterized by two kinds of adverse impacts. First, in conflict each individual … Continue reading → -
Mediation & Litigation Have Different Objectives
7 Apr 2012 | 9:15 amOne of the strong arguments that advocate the use of mediation is tied to the public policy issue of access to justice. Simply stated, many cases on the court docket can be dealt with more efficiently in mediation, thereby freeing … Continue reading → -
How Mediation can Help
5 Apr 2012 | 8:15 amMediation is one of a number of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) processes that, despite its introduction in North America some 40 years ago, is still not widely understood. It offers a number of alternatives to the legal adjudication of disputes … Continue reading → -
H. H. The Dalai Lama awarded Templeton Prize 2012
30 Mar 2012 | 11:44 amThe Templeton Prize 2012 has been awarded to His Holiness The Dalai Lama. The prize has a monetary value of ₤1.1 million and, as such, is the largest monetary award given to one person. It honours “a living person who … Continue reading →
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Playing Well at Work and Beyond
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TedxBozeman Video is Available
24 Apr 2012 | 5:36 pmPer your many requests, please find my March 23rd Tedx Talk below! It is also available on YouTube under the Tedx Channel at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEAzWD3038Y . Thank you for your kind and enduring support, Deidre -
Leader as Gardener
17 Apr 2012 | 11:33 amThis morning I was reading William Rosenweig’s Oslo Business for Peace acceptance speech and was captivated by his analogy of a leader being a gardener. Rosenzweig said, “A gardener sees the world as a system of interdependent parts – where … Continue reading → -
Cruel to be Kind?
4 Feb 2012 | 5:37 pmI was asked to speak on the subject of kindness this week. To do so, I realized I had to first wrestle with the meaning of kindness. How can it be applied not just to those easy moments when a … Continue reading → -
The Opposite of Beauty is Indifference
6 Nov 2011 | 4:10 pmAs a continuing theme of this blog, I want to share the work of two artists who bring both beauty from and insight about our oceans’ treasures. Richard and Judy Lang have collected plastic debris since 1999 from 1000 yards … Continue reading → -
You gotta be flexible
28 Oct 2011 | 10:50 amMy mother-in-law Jinny Combs taught me many things. As one of my most formative bosses, I probably model my leadership style off of hers more than I recognize. I know that I rely on two pieces of constant Jinny advice, … Continue reading →
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Waging Nonviolence
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25 years on, Singaporeans remember the ‘Marxist conspiracy’
16 May 2012 | 12:27 pmby Kirsten Han. Original headline about Operation Spectrum. On May 21, 1987, 16 Singaporeans were arrested and detained in a crackdown called Operation Spectrum. About a month later, four of the original 16 were released, and another six arrested. They were branded as Marxist conspirators out to “subvert Singapore’s political and social order using communist united front tactics” and detained without trial. Most of the detainees were lawyers, community workers or entrepreneurs. As the 25th anniversary of the crackdown approaches, activists are using the opportunity to raise… -
A new symbol for new times
16 May 2012 | 5:00 amby John Jackson. Do a Google image search for protest symbols and your first page will show a range of raised fists, Guy Fawkes masks and possibly even a few giant inflatable rats. But by far the single most represented image you’ll see is the peace sign. It is probably the most famous protest symbol in the world and has its origins in the British anti-nuclear movement of the 1950s. The sign represents the semaphore signals for two letters: ‘N’ (the two diagonals pointing down) and ‘D’ (the vertical line that divides the circle), which together represent nuclear disarmament. It has… -
Did the Norwegians have a revolution?
15 May 2012 | 1:18 pmby George Lakey. London student protest, via Bowalley Road. For the better part of a century, some visionaries have been trying to break out of the dominant belief that there are only two means of forcing change: reform through elections and revolution through violence. The rigidity of that binary choice still strangles thinking today. A Norwegian, for instance, once wrote to me that there simply wasn’t enough direct conflict in the country to use the word “revolution”; as I have described in detail before, the Labor Party got enough votes in the 1930s so it could finally create a… -
Catholic Workers just say no to NATO
15 May 2012 | 5:42 amby Jake Olzen. Catholic Workers outside Chicago's Prudential Building, via Jose M. Osorio/Chicago Tribune. Catholic Workers and friends gathered yesterday morning at the Prudential Building in Chicago — home to President Obama’s campaign headquarters — to say “No to NATO; Yes to Community.” “We are here today,” said Chantal de Alacuaz from Chicago, “to boldly proclaim our desire to live in a world where we say no to NATO and yes to community. As Catholic Workers, we serve the poor by practicing the works of mercy by feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, and… -
Fighting “Stop and Frisk” in the streets
14 May 2012 | 3:35 pmby Ray Downs. Image from "Advice for avoiding Stop and Frisk" blog post at Raid My Words. On Saturday, May 12, several hundred people rallied in front of the New York City Police Department headquarters to protest the NYPD’s “Stop and Frisk” program, considered by many to be a prime example of modern-day, institutional racism. But with approximately 40,000 officers and a nearly $5 billion annual budget, the NYPD is the largest police force in the U.S. and, some say, the most powerful on earth. So how does one try to change an ongoing policy enforced by such an entrenched…
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Absolution Mediation - Jason Dykstra
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Everyone’s talking about it, but what does it mean? Listening.
7 May 2012 | 1:06 pmIt seems every conference or speak I go to these days people are talking about Listening. In our relationships – we need to listen, in Social Media – we need to listen, in our churches – we need to listen, how we’re doing our partner, customer, client, friend, etc. a disservice by not listening, so [...]Everyone’s talking about it, but what does it mean? Listening. is a post from: Absolution Mediation - Jason Dykstra -
100th post!
18 Apr 2012 | 2:37 pmIt’s been just over 2 years that this blog has been kicking around. Can you believe that? And this is our 100th post! So in honour of this milestone we’re going to look back at some of your favourites and some of ours as well…well…maybe just 5 of them… Ready? Set? Go! 1. Everyone Has [...]100th post! is a post from: Absolution Mediation - Jason Dykstra -
Recognizing Shame in Mediation
28 Mar 2012 | 11:42 amHave you ever read a book that really makes you think? Right now I’m reading the book, “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are” by Brene Brown and it’s making me think a lot. In mediations, and in conflict in general, we deal [...]Recognizing Shame in Mediation is a post from: Absolution Mediation - Jason Dykstra -
Using Experience to Break an Impasse
6 Mar 2012 | 1:10 pmEver wonder why there are different views of what happened in every experience? I get to see this almost daily. I sit down with people who have very opposing stories and differing views on both of them witnessing the same event. You have your version of the story. They have their version of the story. [...]Using Experience to Break an Impasse is a post from: Absolution Mediation - Jason Dykstra -
Trolls vs Legit Comments
14 Feb 2012 | 8:33 pmRemember these little guys? These cute, little, weird looking things? Or maybe you remember the nursery rhyme of the Three Billy Goats Gruff. Or maybe you’re too young for that or spend more time online and the first thing that comes to mind are those annoying people who hop into a conversation and say something [...]Trolls vs Legit Comments is a post from: Absolution Mediation - Jason Dykstra
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Crisis Management by
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The Digital Media Law Project by Jonathan & Erik Bernstein
15 May 2012 | 12:05 pm[Editor's note: We're pleased to bring you this description of the Digital Media Law Project, written by Jeff Hermes, its director. We're sure you'll see the relevance to the field of crisis management.] Providing Legal Resources to Online Journalism Although some sectors of the journalism industry have recently shown signs of recovery, the future of investigative journalism remains uncertain and many local news markets remain undeserved. And yet, this is a period of striking innovation; experiments with new business models abound as innovators in the journalism space attempt to fill the… -
Handling Negative Comments by Jonathan & Erik Bernstein
14 May 2012 | 10:37 amQuality response is key The surging popularity of social reviews by customers, along with the increasing heed they are paid by those seeking to hire a contractor or make a purchase, makes responding to and resolving complaints a major priority. Many will be rational, some will be pure emotional venting, and yes, there will be the trolls that are out to catch their jollies by provoking a rise out of you. The following quote, from a Social Axis blog post, holds some solid advice to get you on your way: If someone is leaving negative comments about your company, respond! Even if they are… -
Correcting a Customer Complaint Crisis by Jonathan & Erik Bernstein
12 May 2012 | 4:11 pmGet it right, or the world will hear When passengers aboard a Middle East Airlines flight discovered that not only did their plane have no air conditioning in the scorching heat, but was also full of broken tables, malfunctioning entertainment systems, and safety booklets stuck together with chewing gum, the logical first step was to ask the flight team about the plane’s shabby condition. Blown off by the lead stewardess, disgruntled passenger Hussein Dajani took his complaint to MEA’s Facebook page after landing, where he found support and many corroborating stories from fellow… -
Crisis Management During Hard Times by Jonathan & Erik Bernstein
7 May 2012 | 2:04 pm[Editor's note: Today we bring you a special guest post by our multi-cultural colleague, Carlos Victor Costa, that takes a hard look at the Spanish royal family's most recent crisis] Crisis Management During Hard Times: Lessons from the King and the Elephants Once upon a time there was a very happy Kingdom with a much beloved king. Everything was fine, people had money, dreams and their king was bold and young and fair. But time went by, and things changed: peopled ceased to have money, jobs grew scarce, people started to worry about their dreams and were not happy anymore. Meanwhile, the… -
Listening for a Crisis by Jonathan & Erik Bernstein
30 Apr 2012 | 10:13 am[Editors' Note: We're pleased to bring you this guest blog post by Bernstein Crisis Management contractor Chris Syme, excerpted from her new book.] Keep your ear to the ground, and catch crises early One of the best ways to avert a crisis is to see one coming and be proactive. Savvy crisis managers monitor online conversations and are ready to respond if needed. When it comes to setting up a listening dashboard online, there are a variety of tools available that fit any budget from free to enterprise level. Your crisis communications plan should include the people, resources, and time…
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Peace and Justice from YES! magazine
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Changing the Course of Dyslexia
16 May 2012 | 2:12 pmPresident and headmaster Bob Broudo of Landmark School passionately believes that we have a civic responsibility to help students with language-based learning disabilities discover who they are as learners and how they can learn.<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/yes/peace-justice/~4/u3GKOI_ZAPA" height="1" width="1"/> -
North Carolina's Fight for Marriage Equality Continues
15 May 2012 | 3:04 pmIn the wake of North Carolina's new amendment banning same-sex marriage, couples across the state are protesting by requesting marriage licenses.<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/yes/peace-justice/~4/MZrkSxsbTfI" height="1" width="1"/> -
Ilana "Invincible" Weaver: Hip-Hop Activist
14 May 2012 | 5:41 pmPowerful, passionate, and politically charged rhymes that speak for marginalized people.<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/yes/peace-justice/~4/yybQHoqQAik" height="1" width="1"/> -
Rabbi Steven Greenberg: Advocate for Acceptance
14 May 2012 | 5:01 pmBringing personal warmth and serious scholarship to advocacy for marriage equality in Orthodox Judaism.<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/yes/peace-justice/~4/G4jDDn1Vdc8" height="1" width="1"/> -
“You Have My Permission to Wear a Hoodie Every Day”
11 May 2012 | 12:49 pmIn the wake of Trayvon Martin’s death, what advice should a mother give to her young, brown son? Rasha Hamid pondered that question, and wrote this poem to her son Jibreel.<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/yes/peace-justice/~4/TV0YkVMtx4Y" height="1" width="1"/>
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Negotiate, Influence, Achieve! » cma-blog
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How to be assertive without being aggressive
6 May 2012 | 9:12 pmThe problem: “I’m coordinating an office-remodeling project with an assertive colleague. I’m the opposite; I usually give in. The problem is that I disagree with her approach. How can I stand my ground?” During a recent negotiation skills workshop, a participant asked us to help them deal with a colleague who was more assertive than themselves. Here’s a summary of our advice.. Good question. But to answer it, we must go back to a more fundamental question: What’s your negotiation mindset? In CMA’s negotiation skills workshop, we discuss the importance of meeting your… -
6 tips for managing non-face-to-face communications
9 Apr 2012 | 7:05 pmWhether managing teams across borders, cities or offices, or because we simply don’t have time to meet face-to-face, the reality is that much of our communication now occurs remotely. While phones provides audio, we lose the visual cues and context afforded in a face-to-face meeting. One may think that putting the other on mute while responding to e-mails and otherwise saving the world is a great way to maximize efficiency by multitasking, but the reality is that non-face-to-face communication creates a greater risk for miscommunication by allowing greater scope for distraction and… -
The key to gaining buy-in
18 Mar 2012 | 7:29 pmIt can be a real trick to gain cooperation or buy-in from others. If you’re bringing a new project to someone, asking a request, or asking for new resources, one of the factors that is going to go through their mind is, “How much extra work is this going to mean for me?” Today, the expectations are higher than ever before – we are trying to do more with less. So how can we effectively get initial levels of engagement? Start with the heart The advice is to start with the heart! What does this mean? Essentially, this is about being clear in your mind as to what you’re… -
Why it pays to have principles when negotiating
26 Feb 2012 | 11:10 pmRecently I was facilitating a two-day negotiation skills program for one of our clients. During the afternoon on the first day, one of the participants asked me the following question: “Can I be a principled negotiator even if they’re not?” This is a great question and one I often get asked. When we talk about principled negotiation with our clients, we’re talking about the principled negotiation method, described in Getting to Yes[1] as being based on four propositions: Separating people from the problem Focus on interests, not positions Seek options which create mutual gain Use… -
Cross-cultural communication
18 Sep 2011 | 8:51 pm“He’s just coming back from having a fag” – reflections on cross-cultural communication As an American living and working in Australia, the question of cross-cultural communication has been unavoidable. And this day was no different. It was the end of our morning tea break, and I noticed that one of the participants in the negotiation workshop I was facilitating was still missing. In an effort to discover his whereabouts, I asked unsuspectingly, “Where’s John?” Trying to be helpful, his colleague replied, “Oh, he’s just coming back from having a fag.” Now, that response…
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Hesketh Mediation Services
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Boundary disputes expert talks about mediation
15 May 2012 | 2:28 amMy guest writer this week is Jon Maynard FRICS of Jon Maynard Boundaries Ltd. Jon writes: There is a growing trend, driven by judges, to refer boundary disputes to mediation as court cases are a disproportionately expensive method of resolution: see the Appeal Court comments in Oliver and Symons. So why isn’t mediation used more in boundary disputes? The benefits of mediation. It can produce innovative solutions that the law cannot. A boundary dispute might arise over a poorly laid out driveway on which it is impossible to get a car through the gate without damage. The court would have to… -
Why solicitors are depressing a Court of Appeal judge.
30 Apr 2012 | 3:05 amIn Oliver & Anor v Symons Anor [2012] EWCA Civ 267 the Court of Appeal was considering a right of way dispute. Lord Justice Elias said : The disputed part of the right of way is little more than 100 metres in length. The costs of the litigation are enormous and wholly out of proportion to the practical importance of the issue: the appellants alone have expended in the region of £150,000 for their costs. This is a case which was crying out for mediation, even assuming that it could not have been settled more informally than that. It ought never to have come near a court … Lord… -
How to resolve boundary disputes without breaking the bank
5 Apr 2012 | 4:16 amYou have a dream home but your life is being made a misery by a boundary dispute with your neighbour. They claim ownership of land that belongs to you, they park on your land, they block your light or they dispute your right of way. You have taken legal advice but the costs are spiraling out of control and you are worried about going to court. You are not alone. Hundreds of people have boundary disputes but they manage to find solutions without breaking the bank. You can too. Boundaries are not always clear. They are based on old plans or descriptions or both. They are imperfectly drawn or… -
Ignore offer to mediate? Lose your costs
8 Mar 2012 | 2:48 pmA dangerous response to an offer to mediate. PGF II SA v OMFS Company and Bank of Scotland PLC EWHC 83 (TCC) is not the most memorable name for a case but the successful defendant won’t forget it in a hurry. It is one of those rare cases where the court uses its discretion not to follow the normal rules on costs and delivers instead an expensive lesson to the “winner”. Costs penalty for ignoring an offer to mediate The case involved a claim for dilapidations on a lease (I know, but stay with me). It settled one day before trial when the claimant accepted a Part 36… -
Negotiation skills course
1 Mar 2012 | 4:50 amI am working with John Mattock of Right Brain Training Ltd. John will be presenting a course entitled Negotiation: The Bigger Picture in Manchester on 30th April 2012. I am looking after the admin and booking for John and have given some input into the nature of the course although John will be the trainer on the day. If you are interested in attending follow this link to the negotiation course booking form. For more information about the course just give me a call on 0845 056 3625.
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Conflict Resolution Training
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It's Better To Ask Permission Than Forgiveness
29 Apr 2012 | 5:15 pmThere is an old saying that it is better to ask forgiveness than permission, the idea being that if we wait for permission, we may hear “no,” but if we just do what we believe to be best and then ask for forgiveness for doing so, we’re more likely to get our way. The old saying is wrong. If you review in your life the relationships that didn’t work out or contained a lot of conflict or where -
"Can't We All Just Get Along?"
23 Apr 2012 | 2:16 pmThe answer to Rodney King is “Yes,” but it takes a willingness to transcend our ordinary ways of behaving as exemplified by the following story I heard on the NPR program “This American Life” on April 14th.John Snid was the founder of Love In Action, an organization dedicated, in his words, to “curing” adult homosexuals. By his own admission, John had been cured of his own homosexuality while -
Blind Spots
27 Feb 2012 | 12:51 pmYears ago, my mother in law had cataracts surgery. After the surgery, she marveled at how green the grass looked. Of course, the grass had always been green, but the cataracts had prevented her from seeing its brilliance.Similarly, a friend told me about two friends of hers who had visited India at about the same time. One friend who was afraid of snakes was appalled at the number of “snake -
Interrupting Our Past, Creating Our Future
20 Feb 2012 | 11:37 amHave you ever said to yourself, “From now on, I will…(listen, be patient, be loving, take risks, etc.) and then find yourself behaving as you always have?Do you find it fascinating that we say we want to change, we know what we need to do to change, we make plans to change and, yet, we don’t change? We keep repeating the same behavior over and over and over again which, of course, is the -
Conflict and The Confirmation Bias
19 Feb 2012 | 3:50 pmJonathan Haidt is a social psychologist, and a professor at the University of Maryland whose book The Righteous Mind seeks to explain why we get along with some people but not others. I saw him being interviewed by Bill Moyers and subsequently viewed a TED talk he gave in 2008.Simply put, according to Haidt, we don’t get along with some people because we are afflicted with “confirmation bias”
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Judy Ringer's Ki Moments Blog
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On This Planet: Unlikely Teachers and Hidden Gifts
14 May 2012 | 9:00 pmThe game of “Let’s Pretend” is a game we probably all played as children. I think we continue to play as adults—we just forget we’re playing. -
Dealing With Difficult Conflict: There Is No Opponent There
30 Apr 2012 | 9:00 pmStop doing what isn’t working. See a big red STOP sign in front of your face when you begin to react in ways you know don’t serve you, have never served you. You don’t have to have a backup plan, though it helps. Just STOP what isn’t working. -
Conflict Resolution for Kids: Breathe, Learn, Talk
16 Apr 2012 | 9:00 pmWhen a mom asked me about how to help her 10-year-old daughter Becky solve a problem with her teasing friend, the BLT method was the perfect solution. -
The Art of Persuasion: Tips for Getting Your Point Across When No One Is Listening
2 Apr 2012 | 9:00 pmIf advocating is all you do, you will have few listeners. They’ll get tired or bored. If, on the other hand, you are a skilled listener, people will flock to you. And they will listen back. The most useful strategy for being heard is to educate. -
Easier Than I Make It: Four Principles and a Gift
19 Mar 2012 | 9:15 pmA good friend gave me a book last week, thinking I might like it. The book is “Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion” by Jesuit Priest Gregory Boyle about his work with gangs in Los Angeles, CA. Reading the first chapters in the early spring sun this morning at Beach Pea in Kittery, Maine, I feel calm and centered and blessed.
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Alexandria Skinner, Divorce and Family Mediator and Attorney
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Legal Representation in an Uncontested Divorce
12 May 2012 | 2:40 pmWhen a divorce is truly uncontested, then I am happy to take your divorce agreement (if you have one), write it into a separation agreement, and then walk your uncontested divorce through the court process to achieve a final order of divorce. If you think you have an uncontested divorce and just want legal representation to walk it through the court process, please call 803-414-0185 to discuss the process for achieving this in the most cost-effective manner possible. Legal Representation in an Uncontested Divorce originally appeared on Alexandria Skinner, Divorce and Family Mediator and… -
Mediation for an Uncontested Divorce
12 May 2012 | 2:26 pmIn today’s economy, many unhappily married people are seeking the cheapest way possible to get divorced. If you fall in this category, you have come to the right place, but maybe not for the reasons you think. Uncontested divorce may seem the easiest way out. But, before you seek an uncontested divorce, please answer two questions: Do you understand the issues well enough to know for certain that you have reached genuine agreement on every aspect of your divorce settlement and parenting plan? If it is uncontested, should it be? Are you giving up important rights or values that… -
Mediation of Child Custody and Parenting Plans
12 May 2012 | 11:50 amYou are right to be concerned for the effect your divorce will have on your children. There is good news and bad news. First the good news. Children do not have to be traumatized by divorce. While changes in living circumstances can be stressful, what traumatizes children the most is parental conflict. It can actually be a relief to children when parents separate and they are no longer subjected to the stress and anxiety of daily parental conflict. Now for the bad news. Exposure to parental conflict has devastating effects on children. Parents who engage in high… -
Choosing the Best Divorce Process
22 Apr 2012 | 9:57 amIf you are looking for a caring and competent divorce professional in South Carolina, you have come to a good place. My office in Columbia, SC, is a central and neutral location for clients who come from all over the state — with or without attorneys — for help in settling divorce, parenting, elder care, and other family issues outside of court. With help of a neutral mediator, divorcing couples and families reach voluntary, fair, and amicable settlement agreements. But mediation is a relatively new way of settling divorce and family conflict. What if one spouse… -
What Is A Mediator?
31 Mar 2012 | 5:21 amThe purpose of this post is to answer the question, “What is a mediator?” A mediator is a trusted, neutral person who facilitates a process designed to empower parties to recognize find their own, satisfactory solutions to intractable conflict. Each word in the sentence above has important meaning. 1. Conflict A conflict is any issue that is causing distress. Two children who each want the same cupcake have a conflict. Two countries with a boundary dispute may also call in a mediator to help them resolve their differences. Mediators assist with conflict in every type of…
