Back in the days when I was a college dean I ran into a gatekeeping problem with the executive assistant of a vice president I worked with frequently. Donna was a zealous gatekeeper and the first response was a routine “no” anytime I asked if the VP was available for a few minutes. One day, I decided to talk about the problem with Donna. I’m finding it frustrating that every time I come in here, the first response is always no. I’d like to talk about this, since I so frequently need to see Paula (the VP) for troubleshooting on the fly. That’s not my problem, said…
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Conflict Zen
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Relationship frustration: The “not my problem” problem
29 Jun 2009 | 6:21 am -
What if you could reboot your marriage?
20 Jun 2009 | 10:23 amIf you could reboot your marriage, would you do it? Would you clean out the memory leaks, glitches and bugs so that the joyful stuff could shine even more brightly? Rod and I are in our 20th year together and we’ve decided to do just that, looking ahead to the next twenty. And after much thought and discussion, we’ve agreed I’ll blog about this personal “lab of life” experiment. So I introduce The Year 20 Reboot, my chronicle of our year-long experiment in having more joy and cleaning out the gunk. Here’s an excerpt from the About page: I’m a professional… -
Unclutter your negotiations and focus on what really matters
12 Jun 2009 | 6:15 amToday I’m presenting two negotiation and conflict resolution workshops for the Women’s Leadership Summit taking place in Manchester, NH. If you’re arriving here at Conflict Zen for the first time because of the workshop, a special welcome to you! For those of you who weren’t at the workshops, there were three big take-aways: How to recognize what is really important in any negotiation, how to keep the conversation on track, and how to set aside the garbage and prevent it from polluting the negotiation. Here are some of the ideas and stories I shared, plus a few bonus… -
Simple gifts from judy ringer
7 Jun 2009 | 12:54 pm‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free, ‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be, And when we find ourselves in the place just right, ‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight. – Shaker hymn, Simple Gifts I was delighted to find Judy Ringer’s new CD, Simple Gifts: Making the Most of Life’s Ki Moments waiting for me when I got back from client travel, an unexpected gift from Judy. And when I popped it in my car’s CD player on the way to work the next morning, my delight increased. Judy’s sweet voice started my day… -
A visualization for letting go of things you can’t change
5 Jun 2009 | 4:16 amMy mother died during an asthma attack when I was in my mid-twenties. I grieved and grieved for the loss of both my mother and my best friend. And when I was diagnosed with adult-onset asthma a few years later, I took it very seriously. That’s when I discovered visualizations and their power to change my reactions. Since several of you who took my poll mentioned the desire to learn letting go, I’m going to share with you a powerful visualization for letting go of something your brain wants to keep chewing on, even when it’s past the time you can do anything about it. Use it…
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Google News: Conflict Resolution
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Lots of shame for school board - Livingston Daily
3 Jul 2009 | 2:03 amLots of shame for school boardLivingston DailyShame on the Howell Public Schools Board of Education for not resolving its issues with Superintendent Theodore Gardella through conflict resolution. and more » -
Indicting Bashir Is Wrong - Foreign Policy In Focus
2 Jul 2009 | 9:34 amBBC NewsIndicting Bashir Is WrongForeign Policy In FocusSudan needs humanitarian aid and conflict resolution experts, not legal proclamations. After the indictment of al-Bashir, the Sudanese government expelled AU nations 'will not arrest Bashir'Aljazeera.netAU proposal could offer a reprieve to Sudan's BashirGulf TimesAU top official says summit agreement over ICC-Sudan row unlikelySudan TribuneForeign Policy In Focus -Foreign Policy In Focusall 214 news articles » -
Turkey hopes OSCE MG will assist with Nagorno-Karabakh conflict ... - Today.Az
2 Jul 2009 | 3:13 amHürriyetTurkey hopes OSCE MG will assist with Nagorno-Karabakh conflict Today.Az"We are closely watching activity of the OSCE Minsk Group co-chaired by Russia, and hope that it will help to solve the Armenian-Azerbaijani conflict," Turkey becomes key partner for Europe in Caucasus:Hürriyetall 7 news articles » -
Lack of male teachers a troubling situation - The Gazette (Montreal)
2 Jul 2009 | 12:07 amLack of male teachers a troubling situationThe Gazette (Montreal)Take conflict resolution, for example. Being a male has made my life a whole lot easier than what I've seen of the opposite sex. If left to our own devices, and more » -
Sri Lanka Interested in Learning about Conflict Resolution from Aceh - Tempo Interaktif
30 Jun 2009 | 11:35 pmSri Lanka Interested in Learning about Conflict Resolution from AcehTempo InteraktifTEMPO Interactive, Banda Aceh: The Sri Lankan Government is interested in learning about conflict resolution from Aceh, as well as about the rehabilitation and more »
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Yahoo! News: Conflict Resolution
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Security and Scarcity, the Two-headed Problem of Asian Hydropolitics (Phayul)
3 Jul 2009 | 1:22 amAs the rift has widened between the Chinese government and the Tibetan leadership in exile during the past year, it is high time that innovative strategies be considered for conflict resolution. -
Palestinian Majority Favours Two-State Solution (Angus Reid)
2 Jul 2009 | 10:26 pm(Angus Reid Global Monitor) - The majority of people in the Gaza Strip and West Bank think the best way to end the Arab-Israeli conflict is to create two states, according to a poll by Jerusalem Media & Communication Center. 55.2 per cent of respondents share this perception, up 2.2 points since November 2007. -
Town Listens to Discussion to Solve Day Laborer Issues (Oyster Bay Enterprise-Pilot)
2 Jul 2009 | 10:04 pmThe Oyster Bay Town Board put itself on the line as it put up a resolution on the May 26 meeting agenda to prohibit street side solicitation. -
UCC General Synod switches gears: Resolution committees begin work (Worldwide Faith News)
2 Jul 2009 | 7:58 amWritten by Tim Kershner June 29, 2009 Teddy S. Llana of Honolulu Marshallese UCC speaking in the single governance committee hearings at General Synod 27 in Grand Rapids, Mich. -
The Palestinian class of 2009, in their own words (Reuters via Yahoo! News)
2 Jul 2009 | 3:29 amWhether a just resolution of the conflict between Israel and the Palestinians is close at hand or close to impossible is today -- as so often over the past two decades -- in the eye of the beholder.
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MSN: Conflict Resolution
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Conflict resolution is back - Kentucky New Era
3 Jul 2009 | 10:59 amIn the days when I still had a black and white television and a hand cranked computer, I got this invitation to a conflict resolution seminar. Being confronted at the time with several conflicts that needed resolution, I hastened to sign up for the ... -
Scotts Valley High School drinking scrutinized by grand jury - Press Banner
3 Jul 2009 | 9:26 amAn investigation by the Santa Cruz County civil grand jury into alcohol use by Scotts Valley High School students recommended that the district foster more alcohol and drug intervention, rather than rely on a strict zero-tolerance policy. “A zero ... -
Armenia is waiting for Turkey's steps - A1 Plus News
3 Jul 2009 | 1:55 am"We highly assess the efforts of the OSCE Minsk Group Co-Chairs and fully support the Karabakh conflict resolution," OSCE Chairperson-in-Office, Greek Foreign Minister Dora Bakoyannis said in Yerevan on July 3. Mrs. Dora Bakoyannis thinks the ... -
OSCE shuts down mission in Georgia conflict area - Monsters and Critics
30 Jun 2009 | 9:44 amTbilisi/Moscow/Vienna - The mission of the Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe (OSCE) in the conflict hot-spot Georgia came to an end Tuesday, after Russia had vetoed its extension. Both the civilian mission involved in conflict ... -
Azerbaijani Mp Proposes To Design Special National Program On ... - Turkish Weekly
30 Jun 2009 | 5:19 amAzerbaijan, Baku, June 30 / Trend News , A. Huseynbala/ Member of Azerbaijani parliament proposes to design special national program on resolution of the Nagorno-Karabakh conflict. "Given delay in peaceful negotiations, I think role of legislative ...
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Resolving Conflict in Teams
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Do I Really Have to Work With People?
2 Jul 2009 | 9:46 amI prefer to be alone. I value people. I respect people. I can appreciate people. I don’t necessarily like people. I am doubly task-oriented. That means I have significantly more task orientation than people orientation. I don’t want bad things to happen to people. I don’t want people to be harmed. I just prefer to be [...] -
When “I’m Just Fine” Means Anything But
29 Jun 2009 | 4:55 pmToday, I read two really good posts concerning the work of Albert Mehrabian. I enjoyed reading and comparing the two interpretations of Mehrabian’s work by both Bert Decker and Olivia Mitchell. There seems to be some good-natured contention about what his research actually indicates, and I don’t know enough about the details of the research to [...] -
Officially an SOB and Honored By It
27 Jun 2009 | 3:02 pmToday, I was honored to find that a few weeks ago, Liz Strauss, over at Successful and Outstanding Bloggers, selected this blog to include in her list of SOB’s (Successful and Outstanding Bloggers). Thanks Liz. I’m proud to display my new badge! -
To Learn and Grow: Get an Outside Perspective
25 Jun 2009 | 1:31 pmA few months ago, I came across a quote that has become a big part of what I teach in the realm of resolving conflict, leadership skills, and the DISC model of human behavior. I think that it came from one of the books written by the folks over at Vital Smarts. I don’t remember [...] -
What To Do When Everyone You Work With Is An Idiot
22 Jun 2009 | 1:23 pmIf everyone that you work with is an idiot, I have a suggestion for you: Check your attitude. Or, as I heard a speaker say one time, “Give your head a shake.” In Winning with People, John Maxwell defines what he calls the Bob Principle: “If Bob has a problem with everyone, then Bob is the problem.” We all [...]
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Brains On Purpose™
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Your Brain at Work: Web site with lots of neuroscience resources and information
1 Jul 2009 | 7:38 amClick on over to http://yourbrainatwork.org/ to explore this resource-rich Web site brought to us by the Dana Foundation. Plan to spend a while; there's much to be found at the site. -
Why use metaphors in conflicts? Because understanding is remembering in disguise
25 Jun 2009 | 2:22 pmGeneral Eisenhower to soldier: "Sarge, give me an assessment of the military situation." Soldier: "Sir, picture a doughnut. We're the hole." Quoted in Metaphorically Selling The brain considers new information from the point of view of what it already knows and remembers, so the use of good metaphors is an effective way to communicate. Metaphors facilitate getting your message across... -
Download the articles from the 2009 Mind & Life Research Institute here
12 Jun 2009 | 12:11 pmClick here to read the various articles assigned by this year's Mind & Life Research Institute faculty. The event was held this week and ends tomorrow. From the brochure [pdf]: The purpose of the Mind and Life Summer Research Institute is to advance collaborative research among behavioral and clinical scientists, neuroscientists, and biomedical researchers based on a process of inquiry,... -
Don't worry, be happy, see more: Another reason to monitor the conflict moodscape
6 Jun 2009 | 3:35 pmSome research out of University of Toronto adds to the list of benefits of having a positive mood. From "Seeing More With Rose-Coloured Glasses" (Medical News Today): A University of Toronto study provides the first direct evidence that our mood literally changes the way our visual system filters our perceptual experience suggesting that seeing the world through rose-coloured glasses is... -
This blog is 2 years old today!
3 Jun 2009 | 9:23 amThe time has flown for Brains on Purpose™ and me. I am particularly grateful for all the people I have met as a result of this blog, and hope to hear from even more of you in the coming year. Thank you!
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Freak Revolution
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You are what you want to be.
3 Jul 2009 | 7:30 amThis morning, I was singing along to one of my all-time favorite CDs, Tails, by Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories. When I sing, mainly when I sing when I’m alone in the car, I tend to experiment with trills, harmonies, and various vocal varieties. At one point, I was grinning hugely, because I was really enjoying myself. I was playing with my voice and some of my favorite music, and I was having a huge lot of fun. Then I realized that this is something new. I wouldn’t have done this a few months ago. I would have been singing along, sure. But I wouldn’t have been playing. I… -
Book Bonanza Wednesday! Chapter 25: The lollipop
1 Jul 2009 | 12:09 pmEach week we give away the next chapter of our book for free. We hope you enjoy it! Here’s this week’s chapter: Chapter 25: The lollipop The lollipop is a metaphor we use to explain the nature of expectations, attachment, and disappointment.1 We’ll illustrate it by comparing and contrasting three stories. Claire’s Example: A Baseline Claire has a lollipop. It’s about two hundred licks of tasty lollipop. So she’s standing around, licking on this lollipop, and eventually it’s gone. She’s eaten the whole lollipop, so now all she has left is a… -
I want money. Pace’s money.
29 Jun 2009 | 7:30 amPace and I have opposing money issues. She hoards, I spend. Mayhem often ensues. I’m not a wild crazy stereotypical debt-accruing wife. I’m the House Maintainer, the Logistical Manager, the Caretaker, and the Errand-Runner. I get groceries, make sure we all have clothes that fit and shoes that are comfy, keep track of eye exams and dental appointments, doctor and vet visits. I make sure Dru’s education needs are met, that he gets to take classes when he wants (when feasible), that he gets workbooks and videos. I make sure our entertainment needs are met, that we get to see a… -
Community Update #6: It’s a community update about community updates! Anything you can do, I can do meta. (:
26 Jun 2009 | 7:30 amYou gave us your feedback about this blog, and we’re listening. You asked for more open and vulnerable posts. We’ll do our best. You asked for more audio and video posts. We’ll continue posting those occasionally. You said that the community updates were the posts you most often skimmed or skipped. So we’re cutting down on those. From here on out, we won’t post community updates weekly; we’ll only post them if we have interesting and/or important news to share. On the Fridays when we don’t post a community update, we’ll post something about… -
Book Bonanza Wednesday! Chapter 24: The William James zone
24 Jun 2009 | 7:30 amEach week we give away the next chapter of our book for free. We hope you enjoy it! Here’s this week’s chapter: Chapter 24: The William James zone All the clear communication you’ve been learning can be completely muddied if you don’t communicate clearly with yourself. Part of self-communication is paying attention to your emotions and your body when you get angry. This helps stop your anger from getting out of control and muddying everything up. When you get angry, your brain sends out signals to your body. Your adrenaline pumps and your body releases hormones. Anger…
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Making Mediation Your Day Job
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Accept the offer and move it forward
3 Jul 2009 | 2:53 amI attended a blogging conference last weekend (note: this post was written in 2007), a first for me. It was SOBCon ‘07 and the sense of community and affiliation in the room was powerful. It turns out that relationship bloggers hug as much as some mediators, and this bunch was just as good at creating meaningful conversation. During one of the many excellent discussions between presenters and the 110 bloggers in the audience, Lisa Gates of 360 Alliance Coaching) said, “In improv, the rule is to accept the offer and move it forward.” It struck me as really apropos for mediators,… -
InterMediate, case management software built just for mediators
28 Jun 2009 | 2:23 amThere’s a dearth of affordable, well-designed, comprehensive case management software built for mediators. So when I hear of one on the market, my interest is immediately piqued. Enter InterMediate. While new in the U.S., InterMediate has been on the market for three years in the U.K., home to its developer, Colin MacGregor of Resolute Systems. Colin’s adapted the software and its terminology to fit the U.S. market and he’s been testing it with a mediation program in Maryland. Colin contacted me to see if I’d be interested in giving the software a test-run and writing… -
5 powerful interests that influence what people buy
23 Jun 2009 | 2:18 amOne theory behind interest-based bargaining is that parties to a conflict are more likely to agree to a solution that meets one or more of their most important interests. If you’re one of the millions who’ve read William Ury’s work, you know this well, and you know his defintion of interests: The intangible motivations that lead people to take positions – needs, desires, concerns, fears, and aspirations. I used to remind my mediation grad students that if parties keep saying no to proposed solutions, the solutions either don’t meet an important interest or they… -
Success leaves clues: A profile of Elder Decisions
18 Jun 2009 | 2:47 am“There is a great deal of opportunity to create a niche in your community once you have the training and if you are willing to put in the time to market your practice and develop the network of referrals you will need in order to grow,” say Arline Kardasis and Rikk Larsen of Elder Decisions, which scored a major marketing success with National Public Radio in April. Arline and Rikk graciously agreed to an interview about the actions they and their partners, John Dugan, John Maher, Crystal Thorpe, and Blair Trippe have taken to garner such fabulous media attention for their… -
Is your website’s reading level right for your audience?
11 Jun 2009 | 2:10 amMy assistant, Kathy, was doing some upkeep on my websites and emailed me to let me know that the reading level on my sites is for an audience with at least a college education. “The lower the score,” she reminded me, “the more understandable the content will be to your visitors.” This is a great example of situations where knowing your target market and your website’s intended audience matters. In my case, my markets and audience all have college degrees and most also have graduate education. So both of my sites, the one for my ADR clients (ConflictZen.com) and…
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conflict-resolution « WordPress.com Tag Feed
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Layers and layers and layers of Emotional Intelligence ~ it seems to be everywhere!
3 Jul 2009 | 12:45 pmHaving just returned from the third International Emotional Intelligence Conference, I am inspired, amazed, and feeling very sanguine. My flight was delayed more than seven times, my gate for my flight was changed three times, I was charged $15 by American Airlines just to check my normal-weight bag, my flight finally took off five hours after it was originally scheduled to, and my luggage was lost. Unlike the very understandable response from Ben Stiller’s character in a “Meet the Parents” clip shown at the conference by David Caruso, Phd, I managed to remain calm, happy,… -
HOW TO MAINTAIN A POSITION OF SPIRITUAL POWER
2 Jul 2009 | 12:05 pmAPOSTLE HANDLEY DAILY MESSAGE WWW.REALMIRACLES.COM with Prince Handley HOW TO MAINTAIN A POSITION OF SPIRITUAL POWER Please email this message to a friend. Subscribe to The Apostles ezine teaching by email: princehandley@gmail.com Type “SUBSCRIBE” into the “Subject” line. 24/7 releases of ALL Prince Handley teachings and podcasts >>> STREAM HOW TO MAINTAIN A POSITION OF SPIRITUAL POWER One of the definitions of power is “the capacity to influence other people or the course of events.” In my last teaching titled “Decision, Determination,… -
Children as Peacemaker
2 Jul 2009 | 9:42 amhttp://www.unicef.org/publications/files/Machel_Study_10_Year_Strategic_Review_EN_030909.pdf -
Reverend Phelps Targets Fairfax H.S.
1 Jul 2009 | 5:46 pmReverend Phelps’ “family” picketed Fairfax H.S. recently to protest our gay prom queen, the Gay Straight Alliance and the school’s gay friendly policy. Happy to say community supporters counter protested and outnumbered the crazies. We had been notified 5 days before the protest that they were going to target our school. Apparently they post their protest schedules on their website. On the day of the protest, LAPD had a huge presence on the perimeter of campus, teachers and aides were posted around the school and students were told to exit school away from the area… -
Attack The Problem Not The Person
30 Jun 2009 | 9:41 pmWhen there’s conflict in your relationship, do the two of you attack the problem or each other? Something I learned just a a few weeks ago: Problems sometimes require you to be aggressive and tenacious. On the other hand, people require you to be gentle and patient. What do think would happen is you began attacking the problem, instead of your teammate? Remember: Creating meaningful and enjoyable relationships is the goal. Your friend, Algernon Find practical Relationship Cultivation Tools online at www.AlTuckerBooks.com
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ANGER ON MY MIND
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How stress affects the body and mind
30 Jun 2009 | 7:07 pmStress affects both the mind and the body in the most detrimental ways possible. It can force someone into a total mental breakdown and destroy them mentally and it can cause the immune system to virtually shut down, inviting in all sorts of disease, including cancer. We said it before in this workbook and we will continue to say that stress is a killer. The mind goes through much turmoil when it comes to stress. No matter if the stress is self induced or is an outside stressor, the mind will end up shutting down emotionally so that it can cope with the constant stress. A person who is lively… -
Anger management classes online $99
22 Jun 2009 | 5:13 pmFor anger management classes online Click Here. For answers to your questions please call 704-804-0841. -
What is assertiveness?
22 Jun 2009 | 5:09 pmMany people get assertiveness mixed up with being aggressive. This is not the case. It is always good to be assertive. Being assertive is a positive attribute in a human being. Being aggressive is negative. Being assertive means that you are able to effectively communicate your needs to other people, listen to their needs and resolve conflict without compromising your core beliefs and values. People who are assertive are usually self confident and are those who end up getting what they want out of life. If you want to build assertiveness, you have to be aware of the type of personality that… -
Online Anger Management Classes
16 Jun 2009 | 6:18 pmFor affordable anger management nationwide Click Here -
Conflict–What Is It? The Importance of Conflict Resolution Techniques
16 Jun 2009 | 6:15 pmConflict will occur when you do not have respect for the other feelings of another individual or when they do not have respect for you. You can try to deflect conflict by using positive communication skills as discussed in this book. You will know when you are in conflict as it will consist of unproductive, negative communication. If conflict can be briefly defined – that is the perfect definition. While there is good conflict, negative conflict is defined by negative communication. If it continues, it can keep on escalating. Not too many people are happy when they are embroiled in a…
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Colin Rule's blog
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Debunking evo psych
26 Jun 2009 | 7:18 amSharon Begley in Newsweek: "These have not been easy days for evolutionary psychology. For years the loudest critics have been social scientists, feminists and liberals offended by the argument that humans are preprogrammed to rape, to kill unfaithful girlfriends and the like. (This was a reprise of the bitter sociobiology debates of the 1970s and 1980s. When Harvard biologist Edward O. Wilson proposed that there exists a biologically based human nature, and that it included such traits as militarism and male domination of women, left-wing activists—including eminent biologists in his own… -
Go big or go home
26 Jun 2009 | 7:14 amReading today's Paul Krugman: "On one side there’s Barack the Policy Wonk, whose command of the issues — and ability to explain those issues in plain English — is a joy to behold. But on the other side there’s Barack the Post-Partisan, who searches for common ground where none exists, and whose negotiations with himself lead to policies that are far too weak... "...when asked whether the public option was non-negotiable he waffled, declaring that there are no “lines in the sand.” That evening, Rahm Emanuel met with Democratic senators and told them — well, it’s not clear what… -
Today's Father Coughlin
17 Jun 2009 | 1:25 pmEbert on O'Reilly: "I am not interested in discussing O'Reilly's politics here. That would open a hornet's nest. I am more concerned about the danger he and others like him represent to a civil and peaceful society. He sets a harmful example of acceptable public behavior. He has been an influence on the most worrying trend in the field of news: The polarization of opinion, the elevation of emotional temperature, the predictability of two of the leading cable news channels. A majority of cable news viewers now get their news slanted one way or the other. Much has been said recently about the… -
growing organs in a lab
9 Jun 2009 | 2:39 pm"Why transplant an organ when you can grow yourself a new one? This research isn’t something that might happen in the distant future. It’s being used today to grow fresh organs, open up new ways to study disease and the immune system, and reduce the need for organ transplants. Organ-farming laboratories are popping up across the planet, and showing impressive results. Here we look at the state of the union of a rapidly advancing field called tissue engineering: what’s been accomplished so far, and what’s right around the corner. Patients who undergo organ transplants require loads of… -
Water from the air
9 Jun 2009 | 8:37 amI've long thought a technology like this could be revolutionary for the developing world. The notion that all the energy required could come from the sun is even more compelling: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090605091856.htm
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Global Conflict Resolution and Mediation Discussion
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Sovereignty Abandoned: Bernard Kouchner’s Assault on the Westphalia Doctrine
Abstract This short article is designed to look at the long term implications of the French Foreign Minister’s suggestion of sending offensive humanitarian aid into the cyclone ravaged areas of Burma. The dangers suggested herein are not the immediate effects of the humanitarian invasion of Burma, but an analysis of the precedent set by such action. [...] -
TEN SIMPLE RULES FOR ATTORNEYS TO GET THE MOST OUT OF FAMILY MEDIATION
TEN SIMPLE RULES FOR ATTORNEYS TO GET THE MOST OUT OF FAMILY MEDIATION 8 Susan M. Helms 2003, 2009 1. ADVISE THE MEDIATOR IN ADVANCE about: domestic violence, the need to end the session early, health issues of either party, inability to pay the expected fee, desperate need for coffee and doughnuts or smoke breaks, etc. 2. COME [...] -
Real Estate Negotiation: Best Strategies
An important part of the job of your Realtor is to help you negotiate for the best deal on a house. You must be able to rely on their confidence and professionalism in this area. Here are some strategies to guide your real estate negotiation and achieve the best result for you. There is no [...] -
ALTERNATIVE DISPUTE RESOLUTION (ADR) FOR LESS COST AND RISK
If you find yourself considering litigation to resolve a dispute, consider a couple of points: · First, greater than 80 percent of all civil cases in most jurisdictions, and greater than 95 percent in many, settle at or before trial (from Beyond Winning: Negotiating to Create Value in Deals and Disputes by Mnookin, Peppet and Tulumello). · [...] -
How To Handle Difficult Behavior In The Workplace
Premise: Conflict is a normal and natural occurrence of interacting with one another. The cost of resolving conflict is negligible relative to the cost of leaving conflicts unresolved. Observations: Conflicts invariably arise between individuals in an organization, between organizational components, or between institutions. It has become part of our job duties; however, some studies suggest that 30-40% [...]
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ICT for Peacebuilding (ICT4Peace)
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Arianna Huffington on Citizen Journalism
30 Jun 2009 | 3:46 pmArianna Huffington, Co-founder and Editor-in-Chief of The Huffington Post, takes a look at the recent success of citizen journalism and the role it can play in the years to come. Arianna is better read than viewed (she is overwhelmingly soporific), but the examples she presents in this video, though largely from a US centric perspective, point to the potential of new media to add value to stories reported in traditional media, and bear witness to issues that journalists are barred from or fearful of covering. Posted in ICTs and other stuff Tagged: Citizen journalism, New media -
Quick take: BBC’s Nik Gowing on new media
30 Jun 2009 | 3:51 amThe BBC’s Nik Gowing writes an excellent piece in the Guardian on how new media is subverting traditional media’s vice grip on news and information. As Nik notes in Real-time media is changing our world, Institutional assumptions of commanding the information high ground in a crisis are from a different era. The instant scrutiny created by the new digital media landscape subverts their effectiveness and leaves reputations more vulnerable than ever in a crisis. It usually does so with breathtaking speed. A good example of this in Sri Lanka was the atrocious use of wikipedia by the… -
Are we all writers now?
29 Jun 2009 | 6:21 amImage from Agile Thoughts I post this in response to an interesting essay published recently on the More Intelligent Life website by the Economist group. In We are all writers now, Anne Trubek avers, Yes, we need to darken the line between what is verifiable and what is hearsay. The financial downturn and its disastrous impact on print publishing has led some to think we can do without trained reporters and editors–professionals who know how to check facts and strip the gloss off hasty pronouncements. We need this work, perhaps now more than ever. But not at the expense of silencing the… -
Computer models for predicting conflict outcomes
28 Jun 2009 | 1:30 pmFrom Bill Waters came a great heads-up on a paper that informs a model to predict the outcome of conflict. Political scientist Bruce Bueno de Mesquita uses rational choice theory as the basis of this tool, which I would love to see with a dataset populated with Sri Lanka’s conflict metrics. Bill also points to a detailed paper entitled Game Theory, Political Economy, and the Evolving Study of War and Peace by Bruce Bueno de Mesquita’s that is well worth a read. Question is, even if (and this is a big if) war is based on rational choice theory as expounded here by this political… -
Google wants to make the web faster
28 Jun 2009 | 7:28 amHurrah! Who can argue with such a noble cause? Google’s new Speed site points to tools and techniques designers and coders can use to make web services and websites more efficient and effective, especially over limited bandwidth and high latency connections. But as many agree, it’s not just the code that needs tweaking. It’s the pipes that need widening. Many agree that broadband provisioning for all citizens is what makes most sense when talking about a more pervasive web and making the world a better place. Posted in ICTs and other stuff Tagged: Broadband, Google, Web…
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Nancy Love's Weblog
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Taking the PULSE of an organization
30 Jun 2009 | 11:09 amI have been thinking about a new application for the PULSE Frame. What if a company wanted to understand the health of its organization? Could we measure that by taking their PULSE? If we could arrange to have PULSE conversations with teams or individuals in an organization would that tell us something about the viability or the team or the value add of the individual? Would we be able to measure their fit and their contribution to the organization? Would it give us a read on where the blockages where, thepotential clots and arrowing of the arteries that could be fatal. There are… -
Security BEACH
30 Jun 2009 | 11:00 amPeople coming from the Security BEACH 1. Believe that being prepared is important 2. Expect that something may go wrong 3. Assume that noone is as careful as they are. 4. Concern themselves with worst case scenarios 5. Hope for the best while preparing for the worst. The loyal skeptic, the protector, the loyal guardian are all used to describe the person who inhabits this BEACH. They get their energy from taking care of people in a different way than Connection BEACH dwellers. Here there is an emphasis on the future, on mitigating risk and being ready for what ever may come your way. On… -
Detachment BEACH – home of the Masterful Hermits
21 Jun 2009 | 8:28 pmThose who dwell on the Detachment BEACH are sometimes referred to as Masterful Hermits (Reynolds, 2007). They have the influence of immigrants from the Power BEACH which usually shows up as a positive when Masterful Hermits take up a cause and move it forward. They also have the influence of immigration from the Excitement BEACH usually, but not always as a negative when Masterful Hermits adopt addictive joy seeking behaviours and become chaotic and scattered in their thinking. The residents of Detachment BEACH; 1. Believe that time spent alone in thought is time well spent 2. Expect… -
Nine perspectives on voters in Canada ….
18 Jun 2009 | 4:01 pmThe concept of using what we know about the Enneagram and the sub-cultures identified on each of the 40 degrees of perspective to identify voters and voting patterns is a new challenge for me. It is a twist on my new book where I identify nine cultures using an ethnographic structure to describe the cultures and subcultures of the nine BEACHs (sets of Beliefs, Expectations, Assumptions, Concerns and Hopes) 1. Perfection BEACH 2. Connection BEACH 3. Success BEACH 4. Differentiation BEACH 5. Detachment BEACH 6. Security BEACH 7. Excitement BEACH 8. Power BEACH 9. Peace BEACH The names of the… -
If politics were a conversation ….. a year in the life of a political junky
16 Jun 2009 | 6:42 amIt has been more than a year since I first started blogging here. That is hard to believe. I am disappointed with myself for the apparent lack of commitment to the writing. It has been more difficult than I knew to keep attention focused here. I applaud those of you who are more diligent and disciplined than I about siting down and typing in thoughts. I still move toward writing with my pen. It is more natural and comfortable to me. Maybe I should just hire someone to take my journal and type it in. Somehow that doesn’t seem appropriate. I do have a renewed interest in…
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NCDD News & Perspectives
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Call for Proposals to C2D2 2009
1 Jul 2009 | 9:51 amOur sister organization, the Canadian Community for Dialogue & Deliberation, is holding its third national conference this fall. The 2009 Canadian Conference on Dialogue & Deliberation will take place October 22-25 in Toronto, Ontario, and early registration ends on July 31st. Registration is currently $393.75 CAD with taxes, and the rate will increase $100 CAD beginning in August. C2D2 is about to announce their call for proposals, and you can download the call and application here. Proposals are due July 31st for concurrent sessions, field visits, marketplace showcases, and… -
5 Tips from Julia Young on Running Engaging Webinars
30 Jun 2009 | 6:37 pmThere’s a great post by Julia Young on the Facilitate Proceedings blog on tips for running effective, engaging webinars. Click here to see the post, but I’m including it below partly so I don’t lose track of it. Many of us can benefit from these tips! (more…) -
CSC Grants to Support Public Engagement Efforts in California
27 Jun 2009 | 6:09 pmHere’s an important announcement for those of you in California, from NCDD member Pete Peterson. Common Sense California just announced the re-launch of its unique “citizen engagement grant program” for 2009, offering thousands of dollars to California municipalities, school districts and non-profits in support of their efforts to involve residents in local policy-making. Grants will range from $1,000 to $7,500. (more…) -
Phase 3 of Open Gov’t Dialogue in Full Swing
24 Jun 2009 | 7:04 pmPhase 3 of the Obama administration’s groundbreaking Open Government public consultation process (the Drafting Phase) is now in full swing at www.mixedink.com/OpenGov/ and I encourage NCDDers to get involved! This Drafting Phase invites you to collaborate on creating recommendations for open government policy using a web-based wiki tool. There’s a video tutorial up at www.vimeo.com/2674991 about how to use the tool. NCDDers Leanne Nurse and Tim Bonnemann both took notes during yesterday’s conference call with White House staff about Phase III, and I’ve consolidated… -
Huffington Post Article on Pro-Life and Pro-Choice Dialogue
17 Jun 2009 | 4:45 amA great article appeared on The Huffington Post on Monday that many of you will want to know about. “Pro-Life and Pro-Choice Can Work Together,” a piece by Public Conversations Project Associate Mary Jacksteit shares two examples of pro-choice and pro-life activists using dialogue to defuse tension and reduce violence. Our friends at the Public Conversations Project (an NCDD organizational member) ask that you read the story, add a comment to the post, and send this link out to your family, friends and colleagues:…
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Notes from the World of Anger Management
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Alternative uses For Executive Coaching/Anger Management
30 Jun 2009 | 3:46 pmAnger management coaching, based on the four popular domains of emotional intelligence, is being effectively used for marriage and divorce relationship/mediation issues. Anger Management/Executive Coaching was originally developed by Anderson & Anderson™ for use in the assessment and intervention of JCAHO defined “disruptive physicians”. Individual Executive Coaching/Anger Management clients are beginning to request couple coaching for skill enhancement, in self-awareness, self-control (anger management), social awareness and relationship management. These are the four domains of… -
Quite Frankly George Anderson Is THE Anger Management Guru
27 Jun 2009 | 9:47 amWhat comes to mind when you think of anger management? Some would describe anger management as a method to control one’s emotions. Others, like me, would think of Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler in the motion picture film Anger Management. Until recently, there was no right answer. Anger Management was just a term thrown around, and clearly, no one knew what it was. That was until George Anderson and his team of associates not only defined the term, but set the standard. Since then, Mr. Anderson and his team have never looked back. Still never heard of them, eh? The Anderson & Anderson… -
Anger Management is Emotional Intelligence in Practice
22 Jun 2009 | 9:55 amSince its introduction by Daniel Goleman and others, emotional intelligence has been used primarily in Fortune 500 Corporations to improve performance, increase sales and enhance leadership skills. Joshua Freedman and his organization, Six Seconds, expanded the reach of emotional intelligence into grade schools and small organizations. In addition, Freedman began training and certifying providers worldwide to provide EI Assessments and Intervention. Anger management and Executive Coaching/Anger Management for “disruptive physicians” is now one of the largest practice sources for… -
Social Awareness and Relationship Management Are Antidotes to Unhealthy Anger
19 Jun 2009 | 4:43 pmThe four domains of emotional intelligence are self-awareness and self-control, social awareness and relationship management. These skill sets are the keys to competence in emotional intelligence. Most credible anger management programs are based on emotional intelligence. These competencies determine how we handle relationships. Social awareness: Awareness of others’ feelings needs and concerns. Understanding Others: Sensing others’ feelings and perspectives and taking an active interest in their concerns. Developing others: Sensing others’ development needs and… -
Anderson & Anderson Anger Management Appoints New General Manager
15 Jun 2009 | 10:37 amAnderson & Anderson names Lexdan Takspa, MBA as its new General Manager. Mr. Takspa has an MBA degree in International Marketing & Finance. One of his major tasks will be to market Anderson & Anderson and its anger management services, facilitator certification, as well as its’ Executive Coaching and training products throughout the world. For the past six months, Mr. Takspa has been a Business Intern with Anderson & Anderson, where he has focused on marketing strategies to expand its On-site Executive Coaching program for “disruptive physicians” in the United…
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PCR Project
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The Consequences of Engaging with Iran
22 Jun 2009 | 2:50 pmPicture from Flickr used under a Creative Commons license. Kim Ghattas writes for BBC News about the fine line the White House walks when discussing election protests, and the regime’s response, in Iran. Obama will be forced by his own constituencies in America to speak out as police beatings and tear gassing becomes more violent. However, the more support Obama lends to the opposition, the more he actually hurts it because of the way that America is perceived in the country. According to Ghattas, “the challenge has been threefold: keeping faith with the hundreds of thousands of… -
Conflict and Religion in U.S. Foreign Policy: A New Way?
19 Jun 2009 | 12:31 pmPhoto from the White House Flickr Stream used under a Creative Commons license. PCR presented a panel yesterday on the implications of Obama’s speech to the Muslim world with Ambassador Sudjadnan Parnohadiningrat of the Republic of Indonesia, Shaun Casey, Associate Professor of Christian Ethics, Wesley Theological Seminary, and Amr Ramadan, Deputy Chief of the Mission, Embassy of Egypt, moderated by Nadia Bilbassy-Charters, Senior U.S. Correspondent, Middle East Broadcasting Center. The panel participants discussed the effects of the speech on their respective parts of the world,… -
Job Posting | Distinguished Research Fellow at NDU
19 Jun 2009 | 7:42 amThis position is at the National Defense University (NDU) in the Research Directorate of the Institute for National Strategic Studies (INSS). The mission of NDU is to educate senior military and civilian leaders through teaching, research, and outreach in national security strategy, national military strategy, and national resource strategy; joint and multinational operations; information strategies, operations, and resource management; acquisition; and regional defense and security studies. NDU is a learning organization founded on knowledge management and is a center of excellence and… -
Scott Carpenter and Soner Cagaptay: What Muslim World?
19 Jun 2009 | 7:35 amWhat Muslim World? By Scott Carpenter, Soner Cagaptay Foreign Policy Posted June 2009 Flikr photo by Oberazzi used under a Creative Commons license. There’s one big problem with addressing the Muslim world: it doesn’t exist. Praying for change: Obama wants to recast the U.S. image in the Muslim world. But first, he has to use the right name. Even before U.S. President Barack Obama utters a word of his long-anticipated June 4 address to “the Muslim world,” there is already a problem with the rhetoric. As well meaning as it sounds, the term “Muslim world” is… -
Karin von Hippel in the Harvard International Review
15 Jun 2009 | 2:01 pmFlikr photo used under a Creative Commons license. PCR’s Karen von Hippel was interviewed for the Harvard International Review about the future of Somalia. She says: For the first time in years, I am mildly optimistic about events in Somalia. I haven’t been at all over these past 19 years, since the state collapsed in January 1991. There are a number of ‘ifs’ that could really give Somalia a chance.
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ImpactGames Blog
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PeaceMaker: Launching the Educator Community
11 Jun 2009 | 5:55 amI am writing to announce the launch of a PeaceMaker Educator Forum. We have now had over 2 years of teachers and students playing PeaceMaker. Over these 2 years we have had many inquiries from teachers, researchers, and even prestigious press organizations as to how the use of PeaceMaker has contributed to classroom and out of classroom learning. Who better to answer these questions then those of you who are teachers and students. We would be very grateful if you could quickly answer the following relevant survey. I promise you that it is a very short survey and will only take a… -
Play the News – Call for Partners
5 Jun 2009 | 1:24 pmWe have recently outlined two new projects that ImpactGames would love to pursue. Based on multiple discussions we have had with leaders in the educational space and our own internal experience with creating content for both ourselves and clients we feel there is a timely and genuine potential for the use of our Play the News Platform as a teaching and training tool. We welcome you to review the following proposals: (1) Play the News in the classroom (K-12) – A proposal that focuses on the creation of educational modules for a range of subjects: … -
PeaceMaker: An Index Award Finalist
4 Jun 2009 | 8:18 amWe are excited to announce that PeaceMaker, our first game, was selected as a finalist in the prestigious contest INDEX: Design to Improve Life. The INDEX organization was founded by the Danish Government under the patronage of HRH The Crown Prince and is regarded as one of the biggest design awards in the world. Kigge Hvid, CEO of INDEX: explains, “INDEX:’s mission is to ensure more Design to Improve Life of higher quality in the world. Therefore we inspire, collect, advocate, communicate, evaluate, connect and discuss Design to Improve Life globally.” The finalist’s… -
PTN Wins the Knight Foundation Award for News Gaming
4 Jun 2009 | 8:12 amWe are very honored that Play The News won the First Knight News Game Award. The winner was announced at the Games for Change Annual Festival last week. According to the John S. and James L. Knight Foundation the award “honors the best of this exciting new genre: games which are journalistic and strengthen people’s ability to make decisions in a democracy.” You can read the full press release here. We really hope that this great recognition will support our current effort in finding new educational partners and venues for the use of the platform. The other finalists who were… -
PeaceMaker: Deactivation and Reactivation Functionality
23 Dec 2008 | 11:19 amIn answer to many people’s comments and support issues we are pleased to provide our customers with this new functionality. The patch below will work for anyone purchasing a copy of PeaceMaker that does not already have integrated this new functionality. We understand everyones desire to be able to have flexibility with software they purchase and we are glad to finally provide that. This should also make it easier for educational institutions that are continuously re-imaging their computer labs. New Patch: Deactivation and Reactivation Functionality We have recently added new…
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Peacemakers
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Deal or No Deal: Improving the Odds of Successful Mediation
2 Jul 2009 | 1:19 pmI have posted before on Don Philbin’s masterpiece The One Minute Manager Prepares for Mediation: A Multidisciplinary Approach to Negotiation Preparation [pdf] published in vol 13 of The Harvard Negotiation Law Review and a serious piece of work. Don is now conducting an hour long ABA teleconference and live audio webcast Deal or No Deal: Improving the Odds of Successful Mediation on Tuesday, July 14 at 1pm Eastern (12:00 PM Central/11:00 AM Mountain/10:00 AM Pacific). -
And Now a Word from Mediators Beyond Borders on Climate Change
2 Jul 2009 | 1:05 pmIn December 2009, delegates from around the world will meet in Copenhagen, Denmark for the 15th Conference of the Parties (COP 15) to the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC). Copenhagen will provide a critical opportunity for the world’s nations to reach a comprehensive agreement before the commitments set out in the Kyoto Protocol expire in 2012. A recent report by the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change points to COP 15 as the focal point for decisive action by the world’s nations, in the effort to avoid a growing number of potentially disastrous… -
Fancy that, a moderate in Hamas
1 Jul 2009 | 7:57 amHEBRON, West BANK - I first met Aziz Dweik in the winter of 1991-92. The man who is the speaker of the Palestinian Legislative Council, and who was released from an Israeli prison last Tuesday, was then teaching urban geography at an-Najah University in Nablus. He was pointed out to me as the man who spoke for Hamas in his home town of Hebron, which is why I went looking for him. Hamas, an Arabic acronym for the Islamic Resistance Movement, was only four years old at the time, having been established at the start of the first intifada , or Palestinian uprising against Israeli occupation of… -
Ensemble Ambitions in a World Divided
30 Jun 2009 | 9:58 pmWisps of mournful tunes from a cane flute mingled with the plucking, jangling arabesques of the zitherlike qanun, the oud and gentle drums. The sounds arose from a quartet of Arab musicians who call themselves the Oriental Music Ensemble as they shared a precious moment of togetherness in the Miller Theater at Columbia University in March. Despite the cohesion implied by the word “ensemble,” these four men are rarely in the same city, much less the same room. The politics of the Middle East confine them to four separate spheres and have turned them into a living metaphor for inescapable… -
New report by the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) paints a grim picture of life in the Gaza Strip
30 Jun 2009 | 5:15 pmTEL AVIV - A new report by the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) paints a grim picture of life in the Gaza Strip: insufficient housing, damaged infrastructure, limited access to clean water and the discharge of raw sewage into the sea. The report [pdf] identifies restrictions on the movement of people and goods over the past two years as one of the main causes of the crisis in Gaza.
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mediator blah...blah...
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Deal or No Deal: Improving the Odds of Successful Mediation
1 Jul 2009 | 9:56 pmI have posted before on Don Philbin's masterpiece The One Minute Manager Prepares for Mediation: A Multidisciplinary Approach to Negotiation Preparation published in vol 13 of The Harvard Negotiation Law Review and a serious piece of work.Don is now conducting an hour long ABA teleconference and live audio webcast Deal or No Deal: Improving the Odds of Successful Mediation on Tuesday, July 14 at 1pm Eastern (12:00 PM Central/11:00 AM Mountain/10:00 AM Pacific).'The panel will discuss the results of empirical studies of decisional errors in litigation comparing last settlement positions of… -
Expanding the Mediation Pie
1 Jul 2009 | 4:31 pmJust posted today is Expanding the Mediation Pie by Michael Leathes, Director of The International Mediation Institute;"As professionals gingerly tiptoe on the road out of recession, their travel bags need to be packed with new gear. Considered unfashionable in the past, the winds of economic hardship have blown in former style icons. Left on a hanger in the Old Economy are the hackneyed notions of “s/he who dares, wins”, “no risk, no reward” and Dum Pendet Rendet. Replacing them are 10 powerful drivers of politics,business and society - Responsibility, Transparency, Authenticity,… -
IMI Registrations Top 1,000 Worldwide
1 Jul 2009 | 4:20 pmJuly 1; IMI completed its Experience Qualification Path on June 30 2009. Over 1,000 experienced mediators from 35 countries took the opportunity to register on the IMI portal during the EQP period [read more]. [click on the title of this post to read more...] -
The International Journal of Conflict Management is free all week
29 Jun 2009 | 10:30 pmThe International Journal of Conflict Management will be free to access online this week.Simply visit the journal’s homepage and access the content through the table of contents. [click on the title of this post to read more...] -
Logo poll results
24 Jun 2009 | 3:35 pmThanks to all those who took the time to vote on my Old vs New Logo Challenge.Here are the results.Jeff Thompson even gave me some options - he's a clever cookie; [click on the title of this post to read more...]
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Settle It Now Negotiation Blog
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And Now a Word from Mediators Beyond Borders on Climate Change
2 Jul 2009 | 9:19 amBy Kenneth Cloke The Copenhagen Climate Change Conference -- What You Can Do In December 2009, delegates from around the world will meet in Copenhagen, Denmark for the 15th Conference of the Parties (COP 15) to the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC). Copenhagen will provide a critical opportunity for the world’s nations to reach a comprehensive agreement before the commitments set out in the Kyoto Protocol expire in 2012. A recent report by the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change points to COP 15 as the… -
Deal or No Deal: Improving the Odds of Successful Mediation
2 Jul 2009 | 8:53 amNeed CLE Credits? Mark your calendars! The American Bar Association Section of Litigation will hold a live teleconference and webcast on July 14, 2009 titled “Deal or No Deal: Improving the Odds of Successful Mediation.” Reinsurance and Insurance expert Katherine Billingham from KB ReSolutions, Inc. and Randall Kiser from DecisionSet will present at the event. Randall’s article Lets Not Make a Deal: An Empirical Study of Decision Making in Unsuccessful Settlement Negotiations was featured recently in the New York Times. Donald R. Philbin, Jr., friend of this blog and adjunct… -
Negotiating God: a Sunday Reflection
28 Jun 2009 | 4:59 pmAccording to Robert Wright in The Evolution of God (reviewed in todays NYT Book Review by Paul Bloom) "God has mellowed" from a capricious tyrant into non-zero-sum playing diety. This is good news for mediators and anyone else in search of a better paradigm for conflict resolution than the 16th century adversarial system. As Bloom explains Wright: When people see themselves in zero-sum relationship with other people — see their fortunes as inversely correlated with the fortunes of other people, see the dynamic as win-lose — they tend to find a… -
Negotiating from a Position of Weakness Hollywood Style
26 Jun 2009 | 3:05 pmWhen last we left Ari and Terrence negotiating Ari's compensation Terrence had ceremoniously offered Ari "NOTHING!!!" But we're not talking only money here. We're talking power and agency in the psychological sense, i.e., agency as the capacity to control one's own future. Before the "nothing!!!" offer, Ari had told his wife he was still "afraid" of Terrence even as she attempted to prop him up by reminding him that he was Terrence's partner now. Although Ari wants control of the agency, his strength falters when Terrence comes back from a… -
The Insulting Opening Offer
26 Jun 2009 | 3:00 pmDoes it ever serve a purpose? One extremely good answer to the question whether an insulting first offer ever has a purpose can be found at Steve Mehta's Mediation Matters Blog Taking Escalates More than Giving. In this example from Entourage, Terrence's insult is reciprocated by Ari in conflict escalation (as Steve predicts) and Ari's eventual victory as demonstrated by my longer post about this episode, Negotiation from a Position of Weakness, Hollywood-Style.
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DIALOGIC Mediation Services
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Happy Canada Day!
1 Jul 2009 | 7:25 amFrom the July 1, 1867 edition of The Globe newspaper of Toronto, republished in today’s Globe and Mail: The Union of the Provinces of Canada, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick, under the new Constitution, takes effect to-day. We heartily congratulate our readers on the event, and fervently pray that all the blessings anticipated from the measure, [...] -
Transformative Mediation misunderstood
25 Jun 2009 | 4:00 pmIt is disappointing that Jason A. Waxman’s “A Nuanced Comparison of Transformative, Insight and Narrative Mediation” on the mediate.com website relies, in two cases, on outdated source material and, in the third case, on a secondary source. In the case of transformative mediation, he cites a 1996 journal article by Bush and Folger when the [...] -
How to Resolve Parenting Disputes
18 Jun 2009 | 6:00 amWe recently featured a video clip of an interview with Justice Harvey Brownstone of the North Toronto Family Court in which he brought to life the principle of acting in the best interests of the child. Here now are his 10 tips for success in resolving parenting disputes from his book, Tug of War: A [...] -
The Best Interests of the Child — Peace more important than being right
15 Jun 2009 | 11:03 amJustice Harvey Brownstone serves on the North Toronto Family Court and is the author of Tug of War: A Judge’s Verdict on Separation, Custody Battles and the Bitter Realities of Family Court. Below is a 16 minute video clip of an interview of him on TV Ontario’s The Agenda – With Steve Paikin. more about [...] -
Communications Theory and Conflict Spirals
5 Jun 2009 | 6:00 amOne of the trenchant observations made by Bush and Folger in the transformative practice literature is how much mediation theory has relied on the negotiation paradigm to conceptualize itself. In place of this paradigm, Bush and Folger offer communications theory and relational ideology as the framework for thinking about conflict and mediated conversations to deal [...]
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SideTaker.com
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Boyfriend=Pig
29 Jun 2009 | 6:34 pmSide 1 - My boyfriend is the BIGGEST numskull i have ever met. He always eats everything and it pisses me off. Last year i made brownies and i told him he coul... Side 2 - Wow I can't even believe I'm getting into this right now.... Let me start off by being the gentleman here and saying that I love my gf even though she... -
Jealousy Sucks
29 Jun 2009 | 4:23 amSide 1 - Ok so I don't really care if I'm agreed with or not but I need to voice my opinion on this... Me and my gf have been dating for some time now and have... Side 2 - Well I simply believe that girls should be allowed to have friends who are guys. I love my boyfriend very much but when a nice guy texts me and says... -
He Says He's Turned Off By My Underwear
25 Jun 2009 | 5:25 amSide 1 - Ok so I've been dating Len for 2 years. A year into our relationship, he comes out and tells me that he has a fetish for sniffing lady's underwear and... Side 2 - Like she said, Sarai and I have been going out for 2 years and I finally told her about a year ago that I have a fetish for sniffing ladies underwear.... -
Swimming With The Sharks
24 Jun 2009 | 7:19 amSide 1 - My boyfriend has gotten himself into huge debt with a bookie. He doesn't know how to stop gambling. He can afford the debt right now but I think he'... Side 2 - I've lost close to $10,000 in the past 2 years. I make $96,000 a year. It's just a hobby of mine and I get a huge rush out of it. It's almost as goo... -
It's An IUD, Not An IED
19 Jun 2009 | 9:35 pmSide 1 - My girlfriend and I have had a sexual relationship for quite some time now. At first she was taking the pill so I wasn't concerned. But then I noticed... Side 2 - Okay first off Josh, you have no right to tell me what should go into my body!! Second, I don't forget a lot. Yeah, I might have skipped a pill or...
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Playing Well
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Shifting focus to overcome challenges
23 Jun 2009 | 12:33 pmWith the Thriving Through Tough Times tip, “Give to your community so you can fully recover,” I have been trying to justify it a bit backwards. With the other techniques, I noticed their appearance in many different traditions and thought, “Ah ha, a theme!” For example, surrounding yourself with a caring community is a widespread [...] -
Give back to Come Back
12 Jun 2009 | 6:59 pmFor it is in giving we receive – Saint Francis of Assisi I know something to be true. My friend Jerry White, has built his organization, Survivor Corps, around this same fact — if you want to fully return to your life after tough times, it is critical that you give back what you have learned [...] -
Standing at the First Gate
5 Jun 2009 | 5:55 pmYou cannot hope to build a better world without improving the individuals. To that end each of us must work for his own improvement, and at the same time share a general responsibility for all humanity, our particular duty being to aid those to whom we think we can be most useful. –Marie Curie In [...] -
Creating Connections
29 May 2009 | 3:36 pmThis past week had me contemplating what it means to be of use. Listening to one NPR Morning Edition program, I began to tally all the problems on the Obama administration’s plate: Pakistan, Afghanistan, Supreme Court Justice nomination, lack of US cyber security, the economy, the environment…and the list continued. It was overwhelming as I thought [...] -
Fundacion Mahatma Gandhi
21 May 2009 | 1:03 pmI just returned from an amazing week in the Dominican Republic supporting a Montana State Honors course on global poverty developed by my dear friend Lori Lawson. Along with sixteen students, we learned about micro lending, visited a batey (sugar plantation community) where poverty can be most harsh and also landed for a few fascinating [...]
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Mediation Channel
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Mediation channel surfing: in a round-up of links, some tasty ideas to snack on
3 Jul 2009 | 12:29 pmFrom time to time for my non-Twittering readers, I round up the articles and news stories I’ve microblogged about on Twitter. Here’s the latest batch of tasty thought-snacks: Georgia court “deregisters” mediator for serious ethical lapses, including violation of confidentiality, thanks to mediator and blogger Chris Annunziata. Browsing the disputed web - Firefox extensions to uncover alternative viewpoints via Campus-ADR Weblog. A useful collection of video clips for trainers and teachers for lessons about communication, conflict resolution, negotiation, or leadership,… -
Do Generation Y and Baby Boomer lawyers need a mediator?
3 Jul 2009 | 11:14 amI’ve written often here about the fault lines in the ADR profession - the deep rifts dividing facilitative and evaluative mediators, the line in the sand between attorneys who mediate and professional mediators who are not lawyers. These dividing lines damage our collegiality and pose harm to our credibility as dispute resolution professionals; if we are unable to face and address our own differences, how can we be relied upon to assist others? Other professions are of course no strangers to such schisms. In fact intractable conflict smolders now between lawyers, rooted not in doctrinal… -
Mediation: not meditation, not medication, and definitely not arbitration
3 Jul 2009 | 10:30 amYesterday the New Jersey Star-Ledger reported that the state’s Supreme Court “OKs mediation in custody disputes“. The problem with the story is that the New Jersey Supreme Court did nothing of the kind. Instead, it held that parties to a matrimonial action can submit questions relating to child custody and parenting time to binding arbitration (PDF). Was this confusion in reporting the result of careless journalism? No doubt. But this also tells me that the ADR field still has plenty of work to do in terms of public education and awareness. Arbitration and mediation are not… -
Common courtesy should not be an oxymoron
2 Jul 2009 | 2:14 pmA recent article in the New York Times about the decline of manners in a Blackberry age prompted one executive coach to write to the Times editor to share an anecdote drawn from his own experience working with professionals. He wrote, I was told by a client, who is a former board member of a large cosmetics company and now a venture capitalist, that she had decided to refuse to help fellow alumni from her prestigious university. When I asked why, she explained how over an 18-month period, she had gone out of her way to help six alumni network into new jobs. In response to all her efforts, not… -
Please contact me…but kindly read this first if you need advice
30 Jun 2009 | 1:19 pmI’ve been blogging for over four years now. During that time I have gotten more emails than I could begin to count from readers asking for advice, looking for help, offering criticism or praise, passing along stuff they knew I’d enjoy, or just getting in touch to say hello. With only a few rare exceptions, I’ve enjoyed hearing from every one of them and have been happy to help when I can. Your emails continue to come in, more so now than ever. So, to help us both, here are some things for you to know before you contact me. If you have a conflict you’d like to resolve…
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Waging Nonviolence
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Primer on “digital security” for activists
3 Jul 2009 | 1:04 pmGetting images and videos of protests and the violent crackdowns by government authorities that often ensue out to the wider public can be extremely important in building momentum and international solidarity for nonviolent movements. While this may generally not be difficult in western countries, when a repressive regime like the Chinese government or the military junta in Burma wants to cut off the flow of information to its citizens and the international community, such activity can be extremely dangerous for activists. In preparation for his presentation at the Fletcher Summer Institute… -
Strike of the sword: Same old story, same old killing
3 Jul 2009 | 7:04 amCapt. Drew Schoenmaker, who heads the Bravo Company of the 1st Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, described the four thousand strong Marine attack in Afghanistan yesterday morning as an effort to “forge new ground … We are going to a place nobody has been before.” The Marine attack, labeled “Operation Strike of the Sword,” aims to remove (kill, maim or capture, I suppose) fighters from southern Afghanistan’s Helmand province before the August 20th presidential election. Strike of the Sword, fortified by the Air Force and 650 Afghan troops, is the largest… -
Experiments with truth: 7/3/09
3 Jul 2009 | 6:00 amPeruvian police used tear gas to clear demonstrators who had blocked traffic with stones and drums to protest their eviction from a settlement in the southern town of San Jose de Chilca. In Beijing, about a thousand people publicly protested against government plans to install the controversial Green Dam filtering software on computers, in response to the call by artist Ai Weiwei for a day of boycott of the internet. The Abolitionist Action Committee, a human rights organization promoting nonviolent alternatives to the death penalty, staged a hunger strike for the past 4 days in front of… -
When conscience is held in contempt of court
2 Jul 2009 | 5:01 pmThe trial for 22 British activists accused of hijacking a power station coal train last June began in Leeds this week. The defendants attempted to explain their motives—citing a UN statistic that linked carbon pollution from Drax power plant to 180 deaths per year—but were repeatedly warned by the judge that the jury was only interested in whether they had committed the offense. The court’s dismissal of conscience is, of course, nothing novel. Activists continually face this dilemma whenever they are on trial. A shining example can be found in Daniel Berrigan’s play… -
Experiments with truth: 7/2/09
2 Jul 2009 | 6:00 amA general strike — called in response to the death of the protesters — brought life to a standstill Tuesday in Srinagar and other towns in the Kashmir valley. In a major victory for the Hartmarx workers in Chicago who voted to sit-in and occupy their workplace if Wells Fargo closed their plant, the 125-year-old suitmaker’s new owner promised to keep the factories open and not outsource the company’s 4,000 jobs this week. A general strike in Niger was partially supported yesterday, as many civil servants and shop owners stayed away from work to protest President Mamadou…
